Visit with a Friend

Today is the day of freedom, new chapters, and fresh starts.... it GRADUATION. Not mine. I haven't been in school for some time. It is, however the special day for some of my dear friends at George Fox, my Alma Mada.

I am in my favorite home away from home checking my e-mail, figuring out my new phone and in walks a rather new friend... who just happens to be in town for graduation. The last time I saw her we were meeting each other at Ben's "good-bye" memorial. Ben would have accepted his diploma today... Rachael did for him. I hugged her with compassion and wonder filling my heart and mind.

I wonder how Rachael is doing... and she shares with me that she is getting up every morning... she's being. The memories and emotions run like a roller coaster with all of it's highs, lows, and irreplaceable rush of feelings. My heart aches yet there is this underestimated peace that covers.

My new friend smiles ... "you've been on my mind a lot. thank you for spending the time with me the last time I was here." I'm in awe of such a thank you. That is what we should do when we see people hurting and crying inside... it's what Jesus would desire... for us to see people and feel what they feel because we choose to look beyond. "you are so welcome. it was my (humble) pleasure. thank you."

"my name's Nichole. what's your name again" she asks with her trade mark smile and friendly grasp of my wrist. "Jeanette. Nichole... Ben's cousin." We share a bit more and she fills me in on the happenings of a family grieving but surviving. "I just wanted to come by and let you know that you are on my mind a lot and thank you. I hope to see you again soon." "I'm so glad that you did. Please know that my heart and prayers are with your family. May the Lord's blessings and peace fill and comfort your family." "thank you."

she smiles. we hug. she leaves with other family members.

As she leaves I say a quiet prayer and here the song playing over the speakers of the coffee house... where Ben used to serve it up with a smile and some antics.... "if i could change the world..." wow. what a song.. for this moment... in regards to our friend Ben... incredible timing as usual Lord. I love you and thank you for being in every moment. You know he spent many moments trying to do that. What a gift you give us with such people and friends. You are an Awesome God.

Wake and see it's a lovely day

picture by: Jeanette Mayhew

written: April 4, 2008

This morning a song was on my heart... as it often is... and I found myself singing it in the middle of a cloudy rain storm on the way to grab my morning cup of comfort. It's a song that's been preformed in different ways but Out of Eden's style fits me. "I think it's gonna be a lovely day" is the chorus line of the song and the rest of it reminds me that no matter what is happening in my life, I can find it to be a Lovely Day. It's not because every day is fun, beautiful, exciting, or simply relaxing.... just because God granted me a new day with new opportunities to meet Him face to face in his creation: his people, his earth, his restoration.

I've seen the tragic destruction of Hurricane Katrina and in the midst…His mighty hand of Restoration and Redemption… a single flower, which only blooms once a year, is seen rising strong and tall through the rubble. It's an encouragement for, as well as a statement of, the people in the region that I had the opportunity to get to know heart to heart.

I've watched as a young widow, who passionately loves her sweet husband, wail due to her loss at the memorial service I attended for my dear friend yesterday… and in that His amazing Grace and in His arms of Love… saw her surrounded by hundreds. They not only loved them both but were encouraged by knowing they will see him again for eternity.

Although, in both situations there is a boundless amount of traveling before them through “the valley of the shadow of death”... but they “will fear no evil” ... they may cry... yell... be silent... grieve... but then they turn to the only one who is the complete Neosporin to our souls and finally find rest.

He of all knows the suffering and heart ache of loss as he watches millions turn from him everyday. He knows all to well the tragedy of death, as his only son hung painfully on the cross for sins that he did not commit. I have found in my own life experience the suffering is an opportunity to come face to face with the Savior of my soul and..... let him hold me and strengthen when I have nothing left to offer.

You see, there is strength in our weakness. We finally stop trying to do it all and begin to do nothing else but embrace Him. In joy there is plenty of opportunity to see His beauty and his goodness... in pain you have to lift your head up as to not get caught in the storm that is likely to consume you... when you lift your head and look Him in the eye he offers you Hope. He helps you walk on water and through the storm. There is no easy way around it, so you simply go through it.

For me, there aren't questions of "why" but "how”. Why confuses the matter, because you usually don't get a clear answer or sometimes you don't get the answer you are hoping for ... but the How ... well it's a call to action. Action helps you to move and movement helps to you live and living ... that's what it's all about.

Live a life full and worthy of memory. Live a life that is worth touching hundreds and millions as you focus on others. Live as if each moment counts because it does... Today, Tomorrow, through Eternity. You matter! If you are alive, there is a reason. If there is a reason, then YOU MATTER! He has a purpose and a reason. You will never know the complete value of who you are if you don't live it for Him.

He is the only one who can give the enveloping peace we all seek. He will use the people around you and send you people that are like "Jesus with skin on"... someone that is like my dear friend Ben Hawkins (that I spoke of earlier). They will remind you that "YOU MATTER" and "I SEE YOU though you think your invisible… I SEE YOU".

So...I guess... today I'll wake up and I'll see it's going to be a lovely day. My love to all who will take time to read this rambling of someone who truly and deeply loves her Lord and all he has created.

"Here I am Lord... what are we up to today?"

Have a lovely day... :)

2008 .. a little Behind the times...

Today is the 2nd day since my last post that I have been on my own site. I'm terribly sorry for those who generally come on and are hoping for something new. There have been some rather important family things happening in this budding artist, and writer's, life. SO .. to sum it up... GOD ROCKS!!!! :) Anyhow... I have yet to have the means to create a .com for my art and until some things get into place I have only been doing some personal orders. IF .. I say IF ... you are interested please e-mail me at little_nette@hotmail.com and put "art order" in the subject line. I would be happy to put some treasures together for you. :) Coorespondence through e-mail will be the best way at this time. Until I have time to sit down and get some updates on here I wish everyone much love and many blessings. :) Have a truly Fantastic Day!!!!

**the photo on this section is found on Flicker ... I apologize to the photographer ... I recieved it from a friend and I am not sure at this time who. So.. until I find the author of it I would like to give props to the unkown. When I get the name I will put it here! :) **

This week we lost a friend....

picture by gardawind @ flickr.com

written 4.3.08...j.m.m

In a time and place of divisiveness and judgement a small town has been united by one young man. This small town in particular divides on issues of politics, denominations, race, class, churches, schools, arts, culture, and coffee... not to mention age. With more churches and coffee shops per capita in the region, there are a lot of choices and division. However, this young man had a way of combining everyone from everywhere with ease. He was "Jesus with skin on," as some would say, treating everyone as if they mattered because they do. His name is Ben Hawkins. I don't say was because he is still Ben just not here on earth. He left behind a darling wife who is his other half of a very detailed tapestry. They have the same kind of white hot passionate love that bonded them closely together and ripped to the inner workings of her sore when she watched him leave this earth. He died a hero ... pushing her to safety as a car took his life instead of hers. We may have lost a dear friend here but we will see him again for eternity in Heaven. His love for the Lord was, and is, evident to anyone who ever simply saw the smile on his face and listen when he spoke. Ben... we miss you however we know we'll join you when it's our time to come home. Keep the Father laughing as you challenge and rock the holy hosts. ;) Much love to the Hawkins family as well as Rachael's family. Deep empathy and love to Rachael as well. Thank you all for sharing him with the world. :)