Nette's Treasures

The Caverns Within...

2011-11-09T16:05:00.000-08:00

sitting on the edge of the deepest most vast crevice found in this intense awe inspiring jungle... the most brilliant sight is before me... my heart can barely stay contained within. It feels as if it could break every bone keeping it captive and tear right through my flesh, it is sooo full! :) touched by light and living water... this cavern has grown the most beautiful moss, ferns, foliage, flowers and flow of multiple waterfalls that collect a lagoon of LIVING water!!!! my breath is kidnapped!

"Even the deepest of caverns ... once touched by light and living water... grow the most beautiful moss, ferns, foliage, flowers and flow of multiple waterfalls that collect a lagoon of LIVING water!!!! Supple, Viberant and Brilliant are the wounds that are healed by such an amazing God!!! Prayers aren't always answered for our Human perspective but God's panoramic perspective... which is SOOOOO MUCH BETTER!!! He is soooooo DELICIOUS!!!! (even when you are suffering from spiritual anorexia or bulimia..... been there done that.. I know that I know that I know to the marrow of my soul.)"

-- jeanette mayhew 11.09.2011

Moments of Brilliance and Unexpected Excellence

2011-11-09T15:58:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had this insatiable need to write and then overwhelmed with the "where do I begin" or "which direction should I go" questions added to the million and one words that are just bursting to be put upon a page??? well that is exactly how I feel right now!! I just couldn't get home fast enough... buy my groceries and get situated at home soon enough... and then of course settled into position for "writing stance" easy enough just to begin getting the thoughts on a page.

Tonight was filled with sensational brilliance of immense emotion, intense empathy/sympathy, overwhelming desire to sing until my vocal chords wept, and just jump into the biggest puddle and spin like a little girl exuberance .... not to mention drop down face first in humility and pain. WHAT A NIGHT!! I don't even know how to describe it or explain it.... but maybe I'm not supposed to explain.... maybe I'm supposed to just revel in the exceptional fluid moments that cumulate to make a night. No... no... I am not supposed to stop there... I need to share.

Have you ever felt the pain of another person so deep it is as if it your own? Have you ever seen the halo of someone so brightly that is illuminates like the noon day sun at midnight even though they are outwardly completely broken? Have you ever felt love so big that it is as if your heart will break every bone containing it and just rip right through your skin? That is exactly .... EXACTLY what tonight was for me. I am not exaggerating... or fishing a tale (or telling a fish tale..lol). That is to the detail what my night was like. Now add to that the way your brain feels when you just sat at the foot of the most amazing teacher you have ever known... filled with so much that it hurts but beckons, actually BEGS for more. Yep, now you know what my night was like. Even now.. even now I am just bathing in the awesomeness of it all and even reminded the way my day was as well. I'm telling you... not one ounce of today was lost or with out exact perfect purpose. WOWZA!!!! NO MORE STATUS QUO is absolutely RIGHT!! :)

Oh... that's right I didn't tell you what I was doing. :) I've given you the When and How but not the Where, What, or Who-s. I told you this may be an adventure in it and of itself. :) Today ... Lunch with a dear friend... then Work with new and dear friends... then Bible study with amazing women of raw authentic wonderfulness. The one that stole the show? The awe inspiring Lover of our Souls!!! It was radtastically delicious!!! The conversations today and tonight were so .... REAL!!!! Raw rugged broken exuberant joyful beautifully tragic and inspiring. I can't seem to find enough descriptive words.

To seriously lay down my life today for complete surrender to whatever He had planned and His purpose produced such a night that I just can't figure how I'm going to rest. :) I know that this may be just going out into the suspending void we call the Internet with only me and God reading this... but even that would be a perfect time placed purpose. :) However, if you do read this perchance, I pray that you are encourage and you "catch the joy" that is just oozing like sweet honey out of my soul on to this page. :) Be encouraged my friends.... a new day is just around the corner. He has already walked it for you ... just be BRAVE. :) ((of course I am open to questions too. :) I know that I left out stuff too. :) so many words and all moving so fast :) ))

The Most interesting thing......

2011-11-09T15:52:00.000-08:00

the most interesting thing happened this early hour of the morning (actually late night for me :) ). I was looking through some pictures here in our little social network world and came upon a pic of what should have shattered me to pieces. Instead... I sat... I stared... taking in all the details... pondering... and then suddenly... I found myself, well, I found myself giggling. I was just overcome by "wow... they match and are suited... this is a beautiful picture" .. and then just praying for them. My heart actually was bubbling. Now seriously... who can make sense of that? I can.... the amazing power of the Love of the Lord!!! I mean it when i say I really love each of them with my whole heart and that proved it right there for me. First time ya know. It was my first time seeing all the pieces together at once. Wow... the word is what the word is = TRUE ... Love Covers all! :) I'm soooooo amazingly blessed and in awe of how God works. Goin' Lord just do yo' thang!!! :)

Please... all of you who have been on this arduous tragically beautiful adventure with me... Please pray for all of the elements. Lift them and blanket them in your love as well as prayer. God has GREATER plans that we can't imagine and He is SOOOOOO much bigger... let's continue to rise with Him. :) Thank you all so much for your prayer, support, love, and encouragement. God is soooooooooo GOOD!!!!! I am extremely blessed and LOVE MY LIFE and all the People in it!!! :) (all the people in it :) )

Intentional Purpose

2011-09-14T00:48:00.000-07:00

Fall has begun. The warmth of the sun still kissing my brow as the sky tucks it in behind the full foliage mountainside. The smell of chili blankets the house in sweet spicy comfort. Peace stills my soul yet a since of urgency fills my heart. White Hot deep Passion within stirs my soul.

Tears rolling and falling as a waterfall trickling down a mountainside into a lagoon. My overwhelmed with the brokenness through out the land. The numbers rolling through my mind…. 200,000 plus children soldiers in Africa, little girls given away/ sold into prostitution, human trafficking across the world… and for what? Power? Sick desires? Greed? if it breaks my heart I can only imagine the pain it causes the One who created us in his own image.

Free Will…. a very interesting thing. The freedom to choose … and this is what we as a society choose? We can’t possibly be so desensitized that we don’t feel the cries and pulse of broken souls. I know that I cannot repair the brokenness but I do feel that I can fall to my knees at the cross of hope and promise. “In this world you WILL have trouble, but take heart for I have over come the world.”- Jesus Christ (John 16:33) This is not “boo hoo, my privileged life is so hard. Well I’ll just perk up because it’s all good in the end” … NO… this is “In this world you WILL HAVE (not might or maybe) KNOCK DOWN DRAG OUT MMA FIGHT kind of trouble. But I have someone who has SUFFERED EXTREME TORTURE, HEARS AND FEELS ALL THE CRIES AND PAIN, and humiliation then hung on a cross and cried out IT IS FINISHED...at the end of this life ALL THE SUFFERING WILL BE GONE and HE HEARS and SEES it ALL right now and is providing… SO COME TO HIM.”

We need to be active where we can with Intentional Purpose and RISK … Pray with authenticity and CONVICTION. BRING LIGHT TO THE DARKNESS and don’t let the moments pass! Though I may no longer be an idealizing child or passionate teen … I still believe that ONE person can make a difference. STOP letting the whispers of false contentment fleece the truth... this world is broken and hurting… and so is the person next to you, even the person that hurts you.

SO now what? I guess that is the question we should start asking… where do I risk? Am I compassionate? Am I listening?? Am I loving??

Saying Goodbye....while Standing

2010-12-01T23:09:00.000-08:00

"be still"

if I could tell you all the things my heart longs to say

if I could show you the tears wailed in anger and pain

if you could feel my love that has carved a deep abyss

that love that i have carried for you even in my times of sin

then you may know that all I say is true

that the years we've had are not to be cast aside

as if imagination was all we lived through

I am still here

Existing and living it out

I am still flawed

isn't that what grace is all about

we committed for better or for worst

when the worst ripped through our love seemed to burst

shattered into a million pieces

neither of us knew how to fix

doing as we always had & caused you to grow bitterness

the hardening you feel I have once felt too

but there is a difference between me and you

I can't imagine my life without your smile or eyes

even though we've fought and cried

I can't imagine your body not next to mine

though we both have damaged that holy place that binds

I can't imagine not sharing in life

where once we dreamed in innocent bliss devine

my heart was softened with a tremendous blow

I couldn't deny the depth of my love for you (though you may never know)

but your heart is hurt and angered so

your path you've chosen

and that is to go

you've begun a new life with someone new

and slowly trying to erase my existence with you

an innocent is about to enter this mess

all I can do is ache knowing that there is more to you then this

if we could just sit and talk and deal with the loss

look back and see the beauty along with the costs

it wasn't all bad or decay

it wasn't all tears or pain

there was lots of silly laughter

playful twists and turns

growing up and learning

sometimes listening without a word

moments when I would take your breath

and you would take mine

moment when it seemed we had stopped time

hugs that seemed to encompass

where two into one would disappear

kisses that sent me back to the very first year

why can't we turn back the hands of time

go to the beginnings where our hands nervously intertwined

remembering and seeing who we really are

embracing with grace all of the scars

wounds do heal and grow deep strength

that is how love survives the angst

it thrives through the depths of the deepest pain

because it remembers where the beginnings remain

lets go back and pick up the shattered pieces left behind

the mosaic created would stand the test of time

happiness will come and go

but love's joy will overflow

you have to remember the beginnings to move safely ahead

or you will get lost in the forest of "what if's" and dread

noone can heal those broken areas within

except the one who was there when it happened

nothing human is good in this world

they will always fall short that's why we have Him and His word

I wish you would reset the hands of time

I would do it all again and that I can't deny

It wouldn't be the same but better than before

if we could just try walking through that door

regardless of what you choose

my heart will carry deep eternal love

but for now I say good bye

and trust the One above

((not an easy choice... but learning one breath at a time... trusting His leading and not mine))

free to be all of me....

2010-11-14T09:38:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had your heart hurt so much that you wish it would be removed from your chest

Have you ever had your stomach ache so much that it felt like you've been punched by a fist

Those moments in time where you know in the core of you " seriously, I'm finished" and you can't take another step

You know the truth and have seen the path of those before

But you are tired and scream "I"M SO TIRED!!!!! I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE"

The places where the storm of tears just won't stop falling

Those moments of treacherous whispers constantly clawing at your soul and leaving shredded pieces behind

Telling you "your a fraud" or "this is your fault and this is why..."

"You really think you count that much or make a difference.... please, you were the very first mistress"

The place where you literally see (still) the shattered pieces (and in this moment) nothing more

In your humanity you are seeing the heart breaks you've caused and the tatters you tore out of other people's souls

You wale in the darkness of night

Screaming your angst and plight

"I'm retched and a mess .... there is no good at this core"

"Please just take me home I don't want to do this anymore"

Feeling conflicted by your deep rooted smiles shining just days before

" Am I truly being real" you ask your broken soul

" Am I causing more harm than I did before"

The moment in which you have finally let the quiet around you allow you to FEEL the hidden recesses of your heart

Shame and guilt rise up in a furry

Filtering all of your current things through the filter of yesterdays

The raging winds of the storm surrounding you feel like they are closing in

...

.....

a gentle word touch your pounding ears

"fear not ... for I am with you"

"it's okay ... let me have it i can take it"

"ask your questions... you'll find"

"bang your fists... I'll open that door of mine"

"You will not be swallowed up or touched by the flames"

"yes..it's true YOU can't do it but I CAN

for what is impossible of man is POSSIBLE for ME"

"it's good you see the broken... I can now show you the mosaic that is to be"

"it's in these moments you will really experience and see my grace for thee"

"you are not your own... I have called you by name"

"what do you know of me?

Do you know I experience every ounce of your suffering

I catch every tear that falls from you tender cheek

I know the hurt waging from core of your feet to your head you see

I know you and every hair on your head

I have you.... go ahead let it out

I'm coming in.."

"WHO I AM I ALWAYS WILL BEYou, however, I change within & through the tragedies"

"your sins have been forgiven and no more do I see

you are healed my darling woman... let your faith speak and set you free"

"I am yours, you are mine"

"let that little light shine"

"Do you know how bright light shines in encompassing darkness

I will keep that oil filled as you display your brokenness"

"I have not left you

I will NEVER LEAVE

You are in future's history"

"Your name is cut deep within my hands"

"I am the ONE who will help you stand"

"so rise up dear one ... take your bed and walk"

"You and I have a journey to the Lost"

....

...

So here I am for all to see

Broken and torn in my tragedies

But I am NOT defeated

Nor am I perfect in the least

I just know the ONE who strengthens me.

So if you should see me

And my smile is set blaze

Know that it is HIm

Who lives inside of me.

I am not here to be a martyr

Or a perfect example of what should be

I'm just walking out my future's History.

HE LOVES YOU AS MUCH AS ME!!!!!

** addendum: It is in one of the most vulnerable places that I share these words this morning... my face laying upon His feet that have been flooded by my tears... I know in the depths of my soul He is with me and He is sovereign... and there are those times that I have allowed the lies of the enemy infiltrate and tell me that if I show my tears then the message I am sending is "I don't believe... I have no hope...I am giving up." The truth is ... I am pressing in deeper: I into Him and Him into me. 5he Lord just made it clear I need to Trust HIM when he says "Let down your guard so they can see... what's inside of you is me." So than each of you who read this and allow me to share my very vulnerable adventure... one step at a time. Love to you all!

Upon Hearing Heartbreaking news in regards to the Love of my Life...

2010-07-30T15:35:00.000-07:00

In this life my dreams may crumble and my heart may be in pieces... but it is He who is the Restorer of ruins and Creator of the sunsets that takes the shattered pieces. He picks them one by one and places them in the most amazing Mosaic art piece that has ever been envisioned. So much better than what I would design myself. :o) No matter WHAT crumbles into splinters of glass.... He displays the beauty. :o)

So I walk... alone in intimate companionship with the Lover of my soul and TRUST!! He knows better than I and He is still the God of Abraham!! :o)

My Journey on the Adventure of My Life... part 31

2010-06-27T01:44:00.000-07:00

Enjoying "floating". Laying back, eyes closed, simply breathing, propelled. Repose. Sound muffled except for rhythmic heartbeat & breathing. Once covered in muck*now fresh and clean. Just breath. Wanting to control the flow & movement, A.G. opines "simply rest & breath". Faithfully riding the current until He takes my hand and leads me out for further excursion. "I'm right where I am to be. Resting in Thee" :o)

Pic by serendipityfoto ... thank you so much!

My Journey on the Adventure of My Life... part 30

2010-06-27T01:25:00.000-07:00

Covered in mud and without fever... I'm breaking forth in fervent vigor. A.G. handing me a tube with old script uncovered today. Words of old: "from D of PSL 37...do not fretdelight yourself in the Onethe Creator of your desire will follow throughwait patientlysteps are establishedevil will fail and good will endureHe will not fail or leave youswift feet from evilHe is strength, salvation, deliverer"

pic by Irisb477 ... thank you so much!

My Journey on the Adventure of My Life... part 29

2010-06-27T01:09:00.000-07:00

Blessed for the opportunity to rest in the hot spas of the sweet oasis in the newest part of the Jungle. This adventure has encapsulated growth, stretching, resting, and work. Every point necessary and important for the emerging purposes. Stripping away all that hides and weighs upon this fervent adventurer. :o) My A.G. provided the way and for my needs. :o)

pic by Lumatic ... thank you so much!

My Journey on the Adventure of My Life... part 28

2010-06-27T00:57:00.000-07:00

Reminded by little person that it is important to find the simplicity in the journey. Robust laughter. Splashing in the puddles of life. PLAY. REST. Leading me by gentle hand back to the foot of my A.G. The One who has restored me from my feeble & broken soul. Music sings through the mist of the jungle. I lay ...in rest as fever brings me to Selah. Joy found in the depths. Unheard of but true. In His hands. :o)

My Journey on the Adventure of My Life... part 27

2010-06-27T00:53:00.000-07:00

came upon a little person the path of adventure. His name> Adrik. A.G. encouraged me to take some time from my persistent focus and learn from this little one. Fresh and new brings memories and a clear perspective. Encouraged by A.G.'s creative way of leading and teaching, I have laid down the machete and pack to take ...the hand of this little angel. I'll share more as the journey continues. Off I go

My Journey on the Adventure of My Life... part 26

2010-06-27T00:45:00.000-07:00

overcome by physical weariness but lifted by the "visions" that fill the camp. Lifted in spirit by song, dance, and reminders of the fantastic AWESOMENESS of her Adventure Guide. :o) As the adventure continues the journey emerges growth and strips one of the unnecessary. Finding true enthusiasm, hope, and absolute CRAZY... LOVE for the One who make me well ... within my soul. :o) one step at a time but for now... rest.

Pic by rvallentyne ... thank you so much!

My Journey on the Adventure of My Life... part 25

2010-06-27T00:32:00.000-07:00

Blessed by the light that shines through the thick jungle leaves. I'm blessed to know He never leaves me. It's the journey of the heart not afraid that catapults me to another new day. :o) It's odd and a bit refreshing to walk in the dark boldly with absolute faith. Brand new day and physically worn thin but my soul is just getting started... watch out little stealth ninja's ... you don't know who your messing with!

Pic by Silanov ... thank you so much!

My Journey on the Adventure of My Life... part 24

2010-06-27T00:12:00.000-07:00

Found it's in the midst of the tangling vines that you can be set free. He has given me the machete and then said "Come to ME!" Hacking a way and breaking the binds that strangle out the light. Determined to fight for all that feel left behind. The beauty is in the humbleness of saying "I can't do this alone" and fall down exhausted at His feet baring my soul.

Pic by Lollyknit ... thank you!

My Journey on the Adventure of My Life... part 23

2010-06-27T00:02:00.000-07:00

On a journey that many would grow faint. Hand-n-hand in His Grace. Without it there would be no peace or sweet release of all that one carries on such a retreat. I haven't lost sight or changed my mind. I stand firm in what will take time. Not wavering; allowing Him to rebuild and restore what has been "lost".On go I in this grand adventure of mine. Joy (in the storm) in this moment and time.

Pic by shchukin ... thank you!

My Journey on the Adventure of My Life... part 22

2010-06-26T23:29:00.000-07:00

"I fearlessly believe and am made well"... luke 8:50 Taking steps in faith are Never meant to be easy otherwise they would be steps of "I know it all"....LOL! In my Adventure Guide's amazing love and care as we continue to trek through the depths of the jungle. My soul is encouraged as my hope is in Him! His Grace is sufficient in the rebuilding o'my soul and ruins of life. (Gal. 6:9; 2Cor.4:16-18) My joy is overflowing in the One who stands before me. (Ps. 27:13-14) :o) May this joy fill you up as well.

Pic by jcoterhals ... thank you so much.

My Journey on the Adventure of My Life... part 21

2010-06-26T23:14:00.000-07:00

Filled with anticipation of this new venture to the learning lagoon. Joy builds as my A.G. jumps in with "cannon ball" form. Perfect splash and wave. "10" from the panel of one: me! My turn. I'm scared and excited all at once. I wonder: if a canon ball lands in a lagoon in the middle of the jungle... can anyone hear... it? and if not did it really happen? 1 for the money 2 for His show 3 to get ready and 4 to.....

Pic by notsogoodphotography .... thank you so much.

My Journey on the Adventure of My Life... part 20

2010-06-26T23:01:00.000-07:00

In the mist as the jungle darkens. Not to worry, this wayfarer is keeping her eyes locked on her Leader's Light. Veer to the ruins for more restoration & solidifying foundations. This adventure is long having plenty of twists & turns, as I continue to traverse. Adjusting my pack, machete in hand, I hand my canteen for a refill. My load is buoyant, in the care of my A.G. He takes my hand... :o) Here I go...

Pic by Richo.Fan ... thank you so much!

My Journey on the Adventure of My Life... part 19

2010-06-26T22:49:00.000-07:00

((writing in the sunlight at the camp site in the midst of the jungle...)) "Nothing is accomplished in angst or alone. For we are made to trust and let go. Not seeking to succeed in the ways of our own but in Him alone we continue to grow. Its not about me but all about Him, so I humbly lay down all within. He comes be...side and picks it up placing the pieces together forging a stronger bond. Rise up now and SING!"

Pic by Aldo ... thank you so much!

Preface for My Journey on the Adventure of My Life

2010-06-26T12:13:00.000-07:00

The journey we walk in life, constantly fighting to find the light in the midst of darkness, does one of two things: strengthen us in our complete weakness or break us in lack of faith. Both come at the brink of death. I have learned that with "death" there is opportunity for resurrection when we let go and let God do his perfect will. It will be accomplished inspite of us and our "freewill" ... our "freewill" just lays the path for how we get there.

The "death" of a relationship isn't because of the lack of happiness, it is the lack of endurance and the "need" for the other person to provide such happiness. If we rely on others or self to provide happiness, completeness, fulfillment, encouragement we will forever ride the manic bipolar roller-coaster that has no conductor at the helm. The adventure is THROUGH the valleys which allows us to appreciate the beautiful mountainside.

I have found, on my adventure, that my hope and mere optimism is NOT my own; for I am not my own. I have been removing the leach of self-reliance from it's grip and found that it has kept me from true authenticity and completeness. Amazing how something that shows itself as "beneficial" really has caused me to miss some major points of understanding and illuminated the amount of distrust I truly have. There is a stripping of all that I thought I knew and was. The layers confined and disguised me from what I am truly meant to be.

The journey of such and adventure is painful for any traveler. The endurance it takes and pride that is literally knocked out of you takes it's toll. The only way to not only Survive but THRIVE is to follow an adventure guide. Someone who has been there before you and is perfect in the skills and translations. Notice that I said PERFECT. There is NO ONE perfect human... except the Son of Man who is the living WORD. Who was and is and is to come. See... my hope is not my own. It is found in the One who IS Hope.

The adventure is never to be easy or without pain. So to ask "why do bad things happen to good people?" is to really ask "why do good people have the same hurts and trials as the rest of us?" (John 16:33) There absolutely are no favorites on the journey. Each one has their path to walk. The authentic character of a person rises to the surface during the raging floods. You truly see who you are at the core of yourself when you endure and go through the tragic canyons of life. You find there is much to the "good person" that is either strengthened & amplified or needs to be purged out & stripped away. (Rom.8:28)

See there is nothing new or unknown by the Adventure Guide. SO no matter what chaos, storm, tar blackness, R.O.U.Ses, quicksand traps, strangling vines.... I could keep going... all of it is under His watchful eyes and with in His control ... in the Palm of His hand. Be encouraged traveler.... You are not alone..... even when you head the wrong direction.

My Journey on the Adventure of My Life... part 18

2010-06-26T12:02:00.000-07:00

reminded that the walls fell with a simple shout of faith. For the moment had been prepared before the actual day. He never leaves you stranded or without any hope, but puts you on the path that will lead closer than before. So there is no actual sadness for my Hope lies in my Adventure Guide, who leads me by still waters and never leaves my side. :o) The adventure still charges on, for the journey has just begun.

Pic by Szeke ... thank you so much!

My Journey on the Adventure of My Life... part 17

2010-06-26T11:48:00.000-07:00

Thankful that I don't walk alone though it feels that way. Living out the heartaches and pains takes my breath away. The weariness overwhelms my soul at times. Fighting for my first love stretches my patience, soul, and heart. I've stood at the edge of it all and almost fell over it but when i stepped I found there was a strong hand beneath my feet. For now I fall into it and release it all. I will not be moved!

pic by me. :o)

My Journey on the Adventure of My Life... part 16

2010-06-26T11:16:00.000-07:00

Taking a trek to the highlands and foresees no rest in sight for the body but the soul is lifted like that of eagles wings. The greatness and splendor bring me to a place of awe... looking at the stars reminds me how small and inconsequential it all truly is. My adventure guide points out the grand beauty of the constellations as he reminds me how important the tiny details are to Him. Brimming hope, we walk on

My Journey on the Adventure of My Life... part 16

2010-06-26T10:20:00.000-07:00

Strangely intrigued by the unknown as the tests challenge me to move in the maze of the jungle like Tomb Raider. Picking up the pieces for rebuilding the ancient ruins, I take steps with cat-like-reflexes paying close attention to every move and noise in the surrounding darkness. I see the flicker of my Adventure Guide's fire up ahead. Once again, He waits as I am in another day of forging inquests. :o)

pic by Allard One .... thank you so much!

My Journey on the Adventure of My Life... part 15

2010-06-26T02:26:00.000-07:00

STANDING, playing, and DANCING in the storm. Summer monsoon of the jungle brings release, relief, and a place to shed the tears. My amazing Adventure Guide has set the stage by opening his arms wide and embracing the rain. I followed suit and in moments I was drenched ... dancing... and embracing it myself. So here,... in the moment, I sing in the rain. "Patience, my dear.." I hear in the sweet drops of renewal.

pic by neloque ... thank you!

My Journey on the Adventure of My Life... part 14

2010-06-26T02:01:00.000-07:00

Finding sweet solace in the midst as the mist rises in density. The Adventure Guide gives quiet words of wisdom and pauses to sit on the mossy floor. The waiting... the peace that grows patience... the willingness to simply be. What beauty and grace rises in this place. "Just wait and see..." so ... I wait and learn to "simply" Be. And it is here He solidifies me. ♥

Pic by angela7dreams ... thank you so much!

My Journey on the Adventure of My Life... part 13

2010-06-26T01:34:00.000-07:00

Tired but encouraged as I venture in the the surrounding jungle... still rebuilding the ancient ruins. What a long project, but ABSOLUTELY worth it. Today my Adventure guide has taken me on a walkabout. The thickening jungle around me has reminded me how i cannot do this trek alone without getting lost or dieing. Yet, there is a bright light He shines that brings Peace & Joy beyond understanding! and I STAND!

Pic. by Me. :o)

My Journey on the Adventure of My Life... part 12

2010-06-26T01:06:00.000-07:00

I'm sore as I have been rebuilding the ruins and kicking the tukas of the enemy who has been stealthily trying to win.... BUT NOT!!! The jungle is heavy with heat, yet the living water keeps me hydrated and overflowing with Joy and strength even in the midst of the battles.

I'm in the middle of the adventure but the battles keep on coming. The enemy is stealthy and annoying like that. What ?? Does he think I'm going to give up?! HA! good luck with that!! I know who my Lord is!!!

Round one he sent in piranhas, pygmies, and poison arrows then I was almost swallowed by quicksand. Round 2.. this one is in the clearing where the ruins covered with choking vines lay and the altar that I found... where the Lord has been showing me how to cut down the vines that bind, rebuilding the ancient ruins one brick at a time, and strengthening my hope, faith, and resilience in the adventure. Of course the enemy sent in evil-jungle-ninjas this time and I broke out some KRAV MAGA on their Tukas'. And yes..my story is an allegory with some parable connotations.

Pic by Lutz-R. Frank.... Thank you so much! :o)

My Journey on the Adventure of My Life Part 11...

2010-06-26T00:36:00.000-07:00

Walking through the ruins, my Adventure Guide gave me the history. Beauty and Grace permeated every word. We went back to the altar where he laid out his blue prints of how we were going to rebuild them back to their original fullness. Reminded of my beginnings.

pic by Stuck in Customs ... thank you for such a beautiful picture! :o)

My journey on the Adventure of my life... Part 10

2009-07-16T23:38:00.000-07:00

so amazingly blessed in this day! I have rejoiced in it ... battered and bruised we came upon a open clearing with ancient ruins rising out of it. Vines of destruction over powered every structure, yet the essence of what once was still stood. In the center a alter. It was magnificent in size and solid stone. Then I was reminded of Abraham and Isaac. I knelt down and cried... remembering the Hope, Faith, Sacrifice.

Pic by Benjamin Fitzgerald... fantastic work. :o)

My journey on the Adventure of my life... Part 9

2009-07-16T23:14:00.000-07:00

I was in an FANTASTIC BATTLE! It was amazing... my Adventure Guide and I went to battle. I learned & delivered some amazing moves that are sure to bring the enemy down to their knees. I had SHOUTS that brought the walls down. Kicks from all angles that left them on their face in the jungle mud. And my elbows... man .. watch out for those weapons. They're soon to be licensed. Now resting & laughing. Victory!! :o)

Pic by crossfitalpha... thank you for the logo. Fantastic visual of KM.

My journey on the Adventure of my life... Part 8

2009-07-12T23:23:00.000-07:00

almost swallowed by quicksand! Then the vine of saving grace was thrown down. Phew! Glad He was there to rescue me. Now I'm laying on my face catching my breath and remembering "Do not go ahead or away from me. You don't know the way." I think I'll just rest here for a while. The journey has been a little rough lately but if I just be patient and walk in faith... well it will all sort itself out. ;o)

My journey on the Adventure of my life... Part 7

2009-07-12T23:04:00.000-07:00

pic by slack12 on flickr.... thank you!!! incredible pics!

resting in the infirmary tent at camp. The journey has had it's dangers along the way but mostly trying and "fun". My Adventure Guide is also a very good physician. :o) He has trained others as well. So... now I rest and learn were the weak parts are that need to be mended and healed. I can't help but laugh... with the joy of the Lord in my heart and having no way to contain (in a way of self control) life's funny.

My journey on the Adventure of my life... Part 6

2009-07-12T22:51:00.000-07:00

(SPLASH) Landed in the sweet warm lagoon of joy at the end of a tumultuous painful waterfall. The bubbling joy rising from the deep tickling my heart. It raises my eyes to the heavens where I'm reminded of where my help comes from. The Lover of my Soul dives in with redeeming jubilance causing my joy to overflow so that all may see. All in all >>"I'm Steppin' Up!" (props to Liz Dugger and Aaron Doer + United Choir!)

My journey on the Adventure of my life... Part 5

2009-07-12T22:31:00.000-07:00

riding the current of the waterfall that has taken her breath away in the midst of the Jungle of life. The adventure takes rough twists and turns yet The Adventure guide knows the journey's end, so she keeps her eyes locked on Him. The Long drop is worth the breathtaking beauty of seriously "Letting Go" so the Guide can show her the warm Lagoon at the bottom. Hard? Yes.. Scary?... Yes... willing to walk in faith? YES!

pic by opob on flickr.... thank you!

My journey on the Adventure of my life... Part 4

2009-07-12T22:17:00.000-07:00

at peace. Today we have torn down idols... cut down binding jungle vines and found the oasis in the midst of the jungle. Now we rest for the next adventure. Stories by the firelight and enjoying the moment with the best "Adventure Guide" around. ♥

pic by me on my road trip from Oregon to Texas.

My journey on the Adventure of my life... Part 3

2009-07-12T21:58:00.000-07:00

pic by opobs on flickr... thank you! beautiful work... check it out!

Resting in the One who knows all and trusting HIM... Know who HE is! The storms may rage but I still have my sights set on my "Adventure Guide"... a dense jungle in a storm can make a girl lose her bearings. Gotta run with the only One who knows His way around and all for His greater purpose. :o) LET IT RAIN!!! I know You will move mountains and shake the foundations as to strengthen and force the pride fall into you.

My journey on the Adventure of my life... Part 2

2009-07-12T21:41:00.000-07:00

blessed by the journey that her Adventure Guide has led her on. To go back in time, embracing the future, but most of all enjoying the moment. So much happens in the present... delight in such a gift!

pic by charlattecreations on flickr... thank you!

My journey on the Adventure of my life... Part 1

2009-07-12T21:17:00.000-07:00

excited for the new journey ahead. How exciting to be able to have a NEW day every time we wake up. I mean seriously... if we leave yesterday where it belongs and the future for Him to handle ahead of us then the day we are in is Brand New... it has it's own adventures and baggage. "Hand me a machete and canteen. Okay... Let's Do This!" I've got the best "Adventure Guide" around ... That's just how He rolls!

pic by geekmojo from flickr... thank you! fantastic pic.

In the Storm

2009-07-12T20:28:00.000-07:00

As I sit here listening to the rain fall, my pulse races and muscles tense in the memories of yesterday. The moments of laughter, touch, longing passion untouched by any other. The smell of his skin. The sound of his heart beating. The touch... the touch that makes my soul melt into oblivion. Still ... even now as the thunder trembles my being... I ache and wait.

Wait for the sorrow to end. Wait for the joy to rise once again. Wait... patiently... for the guide of the Soothing Father's hand. Nothing has happened with out purpose or cause it is just that I am still lost in the emotions of it all. Is it wrong?

No, most certainly not. If my emotions were not involved, for me at least, it would betray the truth of my heart and harden what must be pliable. So, what do I do? What do I say? Do I cry and yell in the midst of the pain? Do I stand tall, shoulders back and take on another day? Who ever said it had to be one or the other? I'll do both. I'll cry and yell as my heart needs to decompress; then I'll laugh and dance as I am once again filled with the joy of the Creator's hand.

It's never easy to go against the "natural" flow of societies current but I am not about to drown in the rapids of collective faithlessness. My body will strengthen in each forceful stroke. My heart grows stronger in endurance as I continue in faith and belief in the only One who knows where it all began and where it is to go. So keep falling rain and thunder storms roar ... I am still going forward regardless of the storm. I will not be lost.

my testimony in a nutshell...

2009-07-03T14:41:00.000-07:00

passive yet strong willed beginnings.. married young... mountain tops.... deep dark valleys.... abyss at one point.... restored, renewed, and falling madly in love with the Lover of my Soul.... new adventures begin... heartbreak... resting grace... layers stripped away.... renewing day by day... and the adventure continues without landing on the "X" yet.

a nibble of enouragement.....

2009-07-03T14:31:00.000-07:00

it is in the midst of great tribulation that the light of the dawn raises our spirits as if the light had never been seen before. For it is His light that raises the Son. May you be encouraged in the "midnight blackness" as His light pierces through.

Psa. 112:7 He will not fear evil tidings; His heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD. (NASB)

Believe...

2009-05-03T01:29:00.001-07:00

Awaiting in space and time
With everything around without rhyme

Just standing in the blackness and smoke
Remembering Faith is not seeing but stands in Hope

Hope and promises of things unseen
Believing in Him and walking free

Free of fears and what is known
Free of bondage which once did tightly hold

"They say many things.."
However "they" go on what they see
Yet I choose to stand firm on thee

All is not lost just because it looks dead
For in the winter the life is restoring in grounds bed

We know that spring will come
Though we don't see it..life soon will be sprung
From the hard, cold, broken ground
After time and His hand has strengthened roots all around

Even in the quiet pain
Here I am standing in faith

Stand in the rain
Of hardship and change

Going beyond what you see
For in the winter roots are set free
To grow stronger and deeper
By the hand of the Creator

And when Life springs forth
You'll know that your Faith helped you stand the coarse.

He does not lie
He is Faithful in deed
He is the Master of all
He is HE

So here I stand
Beyond what I see
Standing in Faith
Believing in HE.

Restoring Me (March 15, 2009)

2009-04-17T19:51:00.000-07:00

Restored, renewed, reminded what's true!

What no man can see or fathom, God can absolutely do!
Know Who has complete control
Stands in fullness with strength untold.

Time is not a bondage
Faith is belief in action
Not to what is seen or heard
But upon the One who gave it for the undeserved.

The darkness come and waves mount high
My eyes are lifted to the Creator of the tide.
We dance upon the beach without fear
As he draws and holds me near.

I am His desire
And forever He is mine.
He knows the inner workings of me
Before I was even in the womb to be seen.

He created every detail, personality, gifts, limits ... all
He knew and knows when I will walk tall or fall
Yet still He longingly waits to pour out His grace
And draw me into His saving embrace.

So I'll not cry because what I have lost
Though some tears may come, it shows my heart is still soft.
And soft is exactly what one's heart should me
To be molded more like Him and less of me.

Continue restoring me, oh Lord,
One layer at a time.
I love you everyday even more.

Triumph in the darkness

2009-04-03T18:50:00.000-07:00

Triumph in the midst of these

Every breath to eternity

Will sing His praise regardless of what's seen

For my eyes are placed upon the Unseen.

I've got the victory

For He has set me free

Though I walk through the fiery furnace

No more tethers binding me.

Trusting Him

Loving Him

Seeking Him

Remain in Him

for there is my Fortress

Which will long withstand

The trials cast by the enemies hand.

He allows them for greater purpose unseen

Drawing me ever deeper into Him and not of me.

I am NOT alone

2009-04-03T18:25:00.001-07:00

Heartbreaking

Soul aching

Loud shattering crack

every essence

of all with in

has felt as if it was never coming back

none of it is meant to be

handled on my own

life is not such a simple task

where you walk the path alone.

it's in the hands of the the One who knows

through his humiliation, thrashings, and scars

all the pain, sorrows, and unknowns

for he knows our every part

from beginning to end

he knows no bounds

to stop him or contain

so i release it all

my love, tears, and pain

for him to restore, redeem, and renew again

my everlasting saving grace.

though the storm keeps crashing down

as i lose all that I have held so dear

he will take good care that I do not drown

for he can see things more clear

no doubts consume the broken halls

no trial do i run from him again

i've done that once and had my fall

never do i desire that same abyss

so hope and longing

are hung like stars

with unconditional love the sky

for he created all of it

and hears my every cry

so i cry....broken at his feet

huddled in his arms of grace and mercy

i am not alone.

In the Moment

2009-03-31T19:57:00.000-07:00

Well... here's an update on what is happening in the crazy wild waves of this young woman's life. I'll lay it out in a nut shell... the 411 for those that care and short and sweet for those who don't really. :o)

* Accepted to GFU!!! (let's just say: MIRACLE)

* Releasing the last piece of half of the tapestry to the Weaver... feeling frayed but peace. (MIRACLE 2)

* Living... not just surviving but thriving! (MIRACLE 3)

.... and now considering putting out into the public hands a compilation of written work: "Shattered Beautiful Pieces" ( cover: white... pottery pot broken in pieces in the hands of a potter... back of the book cover: white ... all the pieces made whole ... royal purple in the potters hands.)

All this to say>> Miracles occur every moment of every day. We will see them, taste them, hear them and feel them when we stop long enough to pay attention. I hesitate to say "be in the moment" because of the sad state of affairs the society hears that phrase... whatever... Be In the Moment..FEEL... LISTEN... TASTE... TOUCH... SMELL... experience that fullness of the moment no matter what it is because there is purpose.

I am not saying this from a place of comfort ability. I am coming from a place of grief. In the depths of the darkness and pain let it run it's course and experience all of the moments. You may just be surprise by how Beautiful and Bright the light is on the other side. In the arms of the One who created me I wail, heave, and scream in to the darkness... and He.... well .... He holds me and cries with me never to leave me alone in this suffering.

Some ask how in this world and in this time can you see an all Loving God? I answer "With in every tear drop, sent of a newly opened bud, the sweet smile of a child, the places of death I could have gone and yet did not, in the taste of a meal made and shared with love... we just have to take the time to Be In the Moment."

May anyone who reads this, or anything that I write here, be encouraged and know that you are not alone.

Heart of Openness (March 21, 2009)

2009-03-21T20:24:00.000-07:00

Open heart,
mind,
and soul.
All is Yours the I may be whole
(and not mine)

Not pieces,
all broken
mourning for all
the broken,
weary,
lost....
all those that are closing you off.

May he seek You.
Long for only You.
To draw closer to the Light that is You.

I release it all
within my brokeness
That you may heal
And draw him closer hence.
To Your freedom
Glory be to You.

I am nothing without all of You!
You are my completeness
You are faithful too
All I am is found only in You!

You've granted me mercy
Poured on your grace
All that I may walk fully
to you

My heart is open.

Another twist in the Fantastic adventure ....

2009-02-09T18:38:00.000-08:00

I did it! I turned in my college application today. Yep that's right. I am going back to school. I have only actually completed one year. I then entered the "adult" world. That was about 14 years ago. Yes... I said it... 14 years ago. :o) I'm so excited, scared and I WANT IT SO BAD!!! It has left an aching hunger in my soul and I am excited for this new path of the fantastic adventure God has me on. He is not boring. :o) I can say that with all honesty and with a joyful heart.

So here is my letter of submission for my application. I should add I'm okay whatever the outcome may be because there is a bigger picture here and I don't know all of the details. :o)

Hello! My name is Jeanette Mayhew. I am 32 years old, and I have a strong desire to return to school. I am a young woman on the cusp of truly embracing the Lord's calling in my life and the plans he has for me. I have no interest in superficial interactions, so I am going to break into the reality that is my life right now.

Here I am. I have had 13 years in the "real world" trying to figure out what direction to go in, and falling along the way. I have never lost sight of the Creator of my soul, however, I have often ignored him in my own journey of youthful pride and disobedience. I am in a place right now of taking His hand and leaping in absolute faith. I know that He has created me for an absolute purpose. it is time to live it out.

I am profoundly overwhelmed at the movement he has made in my life. I don't know all of the details but what I do know is that he is igniting my passion. Which brings me to: "Why now?" and "Why George Fox University?"

Often, I have wished I would have stayed and finished school. Whether It was fear or complete naiveté, I didn't complete my studies. Now I am older, hopefully wiser, and most definitely more hungry for the college experience and I have the desire to finish strong. I want to "suck the marrow out of life" as the Lord has given it to me. I believe that, for me George Fox University is the place to do that.

My desire is to enter into the whole undergraduate experience: to complete a double Major in writing / literature and communications, while receiving a minor in ESOL with a higher than 3.0 GPA, then complete my Master's in teaching. I have no excuses or distractions. I know that I can do it all in Him.

I have not reached this decision in haste or without deep prayer and petition. Our Lord is great, unpredictable in our natural expectations, and he has a fantastic sense of humor. I am excited and anticipate this new adventure.

My life began with the Lord when I was 10, at Fellowship Bible Church in Phoenix, Arizona during A.W.A.N.A. My mom has been a single parent from the time I was 2. She was 27 at this point and cried when she heard the news. :o) We moved to Oregon when I entered high school. Through high school, I grew in my relationship with the Lord, always asking myself "If I died today, what do I want people to remember of me?"

Upon graduation I knew I was going to George Fox and my boyfriend would be going to Western Baptist. We had just started our relationship that spring and the distraction began. I spent half of my time at GFU and the other half at Western Baptist. I married him. We have had out own journey through the valleys and mountain tops and the Lord has been in it all. He certainly allowed me to fall hard enough to get my attention and awaken my passion once again!

So, here I am asking for you to accept me into your school, to not only participate, but to impact in a positive way, for the Lord we adore. My name is Jeanette Mayhew and I am looking forward to being a part of your University. Thank you for your time and may the Lord bless you and your family as you serve Him in the wholeness in which He has called you.

Thank you!

So ... that is it. My life in a quick nutshell, with some vague areas, for all the world to see. I'm excited to have it out and on paper focused and edited properly (by 2 dear friends Courtney and JuJu also known as JLo. Thank you both for helping me to tidy it up :o) ). So I'll keep y'all up-to date on the next part of this journey or if another turn is taken. :o)

The Day I brought my boy home...

2009-01-26T07:39:00.000-08:00

So today is the day...

The day I brought him home.

Such a proud day. One filled with anticipation, anxiety, joy, and hope.

Anticipation.... to start the journey right a way.

Anxiety... will I know what to do. How to help with the journeys trials and new experiences?

Joy... I have been waiting for such a long time.

Hope... for the new adventures.

Today is the day ...

The day I brought Mac Home to stay!

"I've got... got the victory. I've got the sweet sweet victory of Jesus..."

2009-01-17T01:13:00.000-08:00

The storm clouds engulf the ever steadfast presence of my soul.
There is calm in the midst
Peace be stills the over whelming angst that is destined to over take me
"Oh ye of little faith"
So I stand ... In the rain.... regardless of the pain.
Because of the pain there will be beauty.

The promises are from the One on which I stand.
My foundation firm and solid.
To Know him is to Believe him
To Believe him is to Understand that he is He.
The know is Intimate and not to be underestimated.
Passionate and Satisfying is He.
He will bring beauty from pain...
"And we know that in all things God works for the the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."--Romans 8:28

So into this storm I shall STAND
STAND in the Pain
For I have the Victory

And his name is Christ Jesus! :o)

The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall,
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint. --Isaiah 40:28b-31

The Eyes of a Girl .... last entry from (5-19-03)

2009-01-11T20:29:00.000-08:00

*Part 3:

See, she never felt without foundation when she would move. Her worth, value, and stability rested in a higher source. Her mother, she was certain, was created and sent as her guardian angel.

She knew that she was never alone. She also had a best friend. Not like most children's best friends. This friend was not invisible or outside the home, but her little sister.

So, it was her sister, her mother, and herself. All who had more love and understanding of those around them then they ever had in money. With that, she was content. Her peace was evident in her manner and her pose, but mostly found in her eyes.

"The eyes are the windows through which anyone can see the soul, if they truly took the time to look," her mother would tell her. She always looked. It fascinated and, at times, saddened her depending on what she saw. Yet, she would continue to look. The longing in her soul always made her look on... deeper.

Now, as she sat in the bay window, she could see what might be around the bend. Excitement built in her and also a sense of nervousness, each in equal parts. This would be a great chapter. Her eyes confirmed it.

** so this is it. The Eyes of a Girl .... this is where I ended and stopped by writers block. I'm okay with it as a short story. I tend to get these bursts and then have no where else to go with it. I hope you have enjoyed it. Your input is welcomed ( with in reason of course...LOL ;) ).

The Sweet Embrace that heals the pain....

2009-01-10T23:28:00.001-08:00

Have you ever heard a heart break into a million pieces? I did. It was mine. There was a burst of a wale then a snow shower of glazed clay pieces. My hand reached for the phone... dial the first number. No answer. Dial the second number... again no answer. Concede to the One, sitting by my side, that should the next call have no answer I would sit and "fit" it out with him. Dial... ringing.... ringing... a voice of sound comfort answers with joy to hear my voice on the other side. "I'm glad you answered I need to talk. But let me give you a preface of what has been going on..."

Then the updates take place with rabbit trails to the current situation at hand. Sound mind is taking over the emotion boiling at the surface wanting so desperately to reveal itself. Then it comes ... TRUTH, REMINDER, Compassion. There is no protective cap ... the emotions over flow and the tears begin to come.

The most amazing thing happened after that moment. I could feel the One slowly and gingerly picking up the pieces around me as I sat and listened and talked with the one he delivered to answer my call. Peace begins to take place of the anger. Remembrance takes place of the anxiety. Comfort strips the fear away.

Then the embrace. Arms wrapped snugly around me as if they were actually there. They were His. The One that drew me close last Sunday. The One that waits patiently for me. The One who has been there with arms wide open desiring me to draw near. I began to share the details of my "dance" last Sunday to "Draw Me Close to You". The intimacy and the "freedom" found that time and life had forgotten. I remembered. I remembered the promises. I remembered the covenant made with me and the peace it poured into my soul.

He had picked up each and every piece. Each piece was brought back together where he mending them. No crack was over looked. As I sat in conversation with my friend, one in which he provided, He worked. Gently and intricately, He handled and reconnected each piece. Then he begin to pour into the once broken vessel. It began to overflow ....

What Grace! Peace.... confirmation...

I am His. He cares deeply for me. He longs for my heart to receive all He has to offer. I humbly bow my head and receive. Thank you Lord!

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.--2 Cor 4:1618

The Eyes of a Girl.... (cont.) 5-19-03

2009-01-10T12:42:00.000-08:00

*Part 2:

She was an intuitive girl with many thoughts at every moment... always watching and listening. She had dark, significant eyes, and a mouth to match. She listened well, but talked often. She didn't know any strangers. There was a fervency in her every step.

In her times of quietness, it was her moment to jot down whatever was whirling through her mind that day. If not in words, she would do it in picture. Her imagination would run wild, along with an untold wisdom that she seemed to have acquired before her time.

She wasn't sure if all of these were gifts or just outlets for her to find her thoughts and understand her reality. Whatever they were she loved them and used them often.

*Picture by Laurence Arcon on Flicker.Thank you to Flickr photographers who are generous and allow others to share their work. You are all very talented and appreciated! :o)

The Eyes of a Girl ...(5-19-2003)

2009-01-06T23:41:00.000-08:00

*Part 1:

A child sits in the bay window looking out at the surrounding neighborhood. She watches the leaves fall gingerly to the ground in a beautiful array of colors. She thinks,"A new home." She isn't cheerless. She's content.

She knows that a new home means a new beginning. It's a new way to renovate her past. Not that she had much of one, but just a chance to better herself and her character... a new chapter, so to speak.

She loved to read and thought that to be quite an amusing parallel with life. It just fit so perfectly. A new "chapter" in her personalized "book".

**picture by Lyne's Lense from flickr.

a break to test the waters in "actual" writing.....

2009-01-06T23:07:00.000-08:00

I have a deep desire to be able to be a writer that touches the heart, encourages the mind, and/ or draw people into a story.I have had wonderful encouragement in regards to poems, thought provokers, also in the random moments of creative outbursts.... he he he... :o)

So, here I go, putting it out there for others to read that have no hidden bias. I will be writing paragraphs at a time for easier reads, rather than Enormous chunks. Thank you for the time that you take to read and share your insight. I hope that you enjoy it.

The following blog is the first part of a new fiction that I started in 2003 but hit a bit of writer's block so I left it as a Short Story. I hope that y'all enjoy it. I still have much to learn and have fun in the pockets of creativity. :0)

Cojourner...

2009-01-04T02:24:00.000-08:00

On the path we need not stray

For we are not alone as it may seem

We look forward in to the dark unknown

A light gives hope

And a hand throws a rope.

So walk be for me

Light the way

Gliding along the rope

The line of Hope for me today.

--jeanette mayhew 1/4/2009

in response to a piece written by my friend jlo at Zany life + Crazy faith.

Daily Gifts....

2009-01-04T00:06:00.000-08:00

With the passing of Christmas and the New Year, I was reminded of what is most important.... the real gifts. I wrote this July 30th, 2001 and it still stands true for today. :)

Daily Gifts

Sometimes in the depth of the night I sit in silence... and I ponder... over trivial things. I think not on just the day's happenings and what still has yet to be done, but on the sweeter things in life.

...The smiles of a child, the joyful pant of a dog, the smell of a rose whose bud has just opened...

things of that sort

and

I smile.

I smile because it warms my heart to know that such simple things add such beauty and joy to a busy and sometimes ugly life.

Have you ever just stopped and watched? Watched children playing on the playground, an elderly couple gently caressing on an other's hand and smiling , or even a young couple just tenderly holding each other and realizing you're watching love bloom right in front of your eyes?

Stop... Watch... Listen

Not on the negative, the harsh, or the rude. Just close your eyes and look beyond. You'll find it.... that joy, love, and bit of sunshine. It's always there. Even on the worst of days.

Some people would say that I'm sentimental. Others would say that I see only what I choose. They're both right. For without sentiment we are without cherishing and if I choose not to see through the daily drudge then I would simply die inside. Nothing is worse than looking at life and asking yourself: "Is this all?" or "is this as good as it gets?"

With my eyes I choose to see better. With my mind I know that the next day will bring more. But with my heart.....well... with my heart I find sentiment... happiness... peace... contentment.... and love..... all of which I cherish and hold dearly and securely as daily gifts. Presents that are freely given to me, daily.

Now, please don't get me wrong. I, too, get caught up in the hustle and bustle drama we call life. Without giving a second glance, they have been discarded without a care 'til they're gone. How easy it can happen. How sad that they are passed by, but I try.

So, in the next week I encourage you to try. Find your daily gifts in life and hold on tight. If in a week you see a brighter place or find more joy, add a day. Keep adding days, until it just happens. You begin to do it voluntarily, without keeping track. Just enjoy life, as it were. This isn't all and it isn't as good as it gets. There's more and it's better.

"Where Have You been??"

2009-01-03T23:44:00.000-08:00

As this new year begins I would like to start by saying " Hello! I have missed you all and I am so sorry that I have been away so long." Okay... so where have I been??

No where spectacular or amazing just living. I have recently had some more changes in my life and it has changed my schedule as well as it has zapped my creative juices. I wanted at least stop in to take the time to leave you with what is going on in this crazy world on the N.T. end. ;)

I also do not have my own computer so that makes it a little challenging to keep up with all of this right now. I do drop in and read everyones blogs and then buzz back to the life aroung me. You all are very talented and have wonderful work. :) thank you for sharing it with me and the rest of the world.

I will do my best to make more time to post. Have a wonderful day and many blessings in the adventures of this New Year!

Forever Friends..

2008-11-20T08:44:00.001-08:00

my sister ... my friend.

Most people have different relationships with their siblings. I happen to adore my sister. We are different as night and day.

She is Blond and exquisite Blue eyes where as I am (obviously) not. She is fair skin and I am olive complected. She speaks very directly "what you see is what you get". I tend to go around the bush as to deliver in the best way possible so I can keep everyone "happy" (when ultimately someone is generally not going to be happy). She thinks in black and white ... and I... will I think Black -White- and tons of Blood Red Grace. Now that is not to say she is not gracious. She has a Heart bigger than Texas. She enjoys her pioneer days and attire. I am more 1940's ... 1950's classic (with enjoyment of the many other eras as well). We are exactly 2 years, 2 months, 2 days apart... I am the oldest.

While we are so different we are also very much the same. We love deeply. We adore our elders and the wisdom they offer. We love the Word. We are both stubborn and very protective of our families. We are both perfectionists and strive to please everyone around us (granted.. it's not always the healthiest mind set). We both tend to be equal parts of our mother... creating a bit of a balance with the two of us.

Being opposites is a blessing because helps us to sharpen one another in growth. We spur one another on to challenge ourselves and think deeper. We are the encourager for the other. We were created not only for our sweet Mommy but ... for each other.

I have many close deep friendships but my sister is my most profound of friendships. She is the only one, besides our mom, who has been through my entire life with me. She has suffered with me. She has rejoiced with me. She has held me accountable and she will always tell me like it is regardless of how it makes me feel because she knows I know she loves me. She is my 2nd dearest best friend. (The 1st being my mom). In my perspective I have found that the good Lord blessed me with a "built-in" best friend for life.

It is true, it is a matter of choice. We must choose to keep the lines of communication open. We must choose to love when we are seemingly unlovable. We must choose to talk things through when it feels as if there is nothing to talk about. We have to choose to let the other be who they are even when we don't agree.... choose to love them right where they are. We must choose to let them see us owning our flaws and limitations. We must choose to be forgiving and offering grace. We must choose to admit when we are wrong or have crossed a boundary line. Over all.... We must choose.

I choose to see the amazing beauty of my sister. I choose to be thankful for the sound of her voice when she calls. I choose to see the nectar of all of how God made her. I choose to give praise that she was born into my life with purpose and reason. I choose to see my dear sister as a benefaction to my life through to eternity. (And I am blessed to have her through eternity as well.)

We are all imperfect messes... I'm grateful I have someone to love me through it all. :)

I love my sister... my Forever Friend.

Sanctuary of Grace

2008-11-19T11:57:00.000-08:00

Do you ever have one of those "Cozy-Comfy" days?

You know.. the kind where all you really want to do is enjoy the sweet comfort of plush blankets, over sized chair, a cup of warm yumminess, and gentle "take me a way" read (or in my case relational mystery with heart racing intensity). When there is not a clock or alarm in sight. The house is nearly empty... maybe a resident or two that have the same intentions as you, to embrace the grace and simply be. For my home that would be Max... whose purr could soothe the most restless of souls.... and Moki.... who responds to the spirit of those around once he has had his needs (outside necessities) taken care of.

The kind of day that has a blanket of gray, with silver, lining the sky. The kind of day where there are no "to-do's" and "have-to's". They may exist but you choose to let them wait one more day. The kind of day where you turn off the ringer on the phone and turn the volume down on the answering machine. The kind of day that encourages you, and you concede in the weary battle, to TURN OFF the cellphone and computer.

This little place of sanctuary simply set up to have all of your "needs", such as chocolate, fruits, nuts, water, tissues/hankie (depending on the book), journal, pencil, and other fun commodities, within arms reach. Acoustic styling of coffee house types are filling the air with embracing tones of smooth lulls while the remote is close at hand if you choose to change the "mood"from guitar to piano or saxophone. In my space of tranquility I would also have close my bible and snail mail paper. Whatever happened to simple writing a letter and sending your jots of yesterday down the way?? I tend to keep mine collected ... needing only to be put in the mail. Silly isn't it, but it is what it is.

Such a day that you wonder why they don't come around much. Yet, in that succulent stillness, you hear a tender whisper ... "Where have you been? I have missed you and awaited so longingly for you to return." You turn to find that whisper ... and it is the gentle voice that can not be seen but heard on these wondrous days. It is accompanied by the sigh of our heart and a sense of belonging.

I desperately need those days. He calls me to them and longs for the moments.Yet ... there are times I catch myself rushing by and yelling back, "I promise to come another day." No... no more. I must begin to slow my self down and take in these days and these moments within the busy days. Take time to rest and find what I've missed in the fast pace of things... grace.

In my days I will choose to saunter,

to take my time and learn to wander.

not always on a "have to" deed

but choosing more of a "need to" lead.

Tomorrow will come without our help

So today just stop and rest a spell.

Get going a little earlier to conquer the "musts"

This way you can prop up those barkin' pups.

If in your day you find "there's not enough time"

What is it that is sucking you dry

from all your creativity,

joy

rest

peace

because nothing is worth the death of me.

We have many things to help "simplify"

So since when did we allow them to run our life?

These are not only questions for you but me

Because I am choosing my Grace Sanctuary.

--jeanette mayhew 11/19/08

May each of you find your day and moments in the Sanctuary of Grace. :) I have truly enjoyed the delicious joys of such a gift in this new journey of my chapter. :)

30 years since Jonestown...

2008-11-18T09:40:00.000-08:00

I just read and saw interviews of one of the most horrific events of our history. The story of ordinary people with ideals and trust betrayed by the person that they saw as a father, friend, shepherd... Jim Jones. I was less than a year old when the catastrophic event took place in Guyana and, so, this is honestly the first I heard of it. However, it doesn't make it any less heartbreaking and devastating to learn and read about.

I have taken time over the years to read and learn about cults and the behaviors of mass reaction. How people behave and respond once they have found someone that agrees and promotes their ideals. There is a trust that is made and then once you are in a large group of equally trusting and idyllic people ... they become family. Everyone searching for the right answer and feeling that they are doing the right thing.... until they stand on the outside and listen to the little voice inside that begins showing all the red flags that are hard to see in the midst of it all. The interesting part is that when you look at the individuals ... when you listen to their stories... you see the humanity not mindless robots that do what they are programed to do. No... you see their heartbreak, their fear, their loss of idealism and hope... all of the things that they thought they found. They truly believe in the big picture of what is happening and maybe overlook or justify the questionable things because the big picture is good and selfless and true to what they are seeking... HOPE.

As I watched some of the video coverage of the Legacy of Jonestown I was literally crying for the ones that survived. Over 900 people that they loved and grew up with died due to one man's fear, control, and most likely... illness. Power can do very strange things to people when it is not kept in check and questioned. The people believed very important things during a time where the Vietnam war had ended and the ideals of our country had began to be questioned. They cared about taking care of people and equality. They cared about hope and new beginnings. They gave people second chances when there seemed like there were no longer options available. It was a socialist mindset and quite honestly there is NOTHING WRONG WITH IT. It is not the ideals of socialism that is wrong it is how it is not kept with balance and in check. The problem also is that there will never be a utopia here on earth ... having said that we are all called "to treat and do to others what you would want as treatment and done to you." (The Golden Rule) It is in the core of who we are... how we are created. That is what you see in the eyes of the survivors. Their hearts are stunned and broken into pieces in disbelief. Their ideals dishonored and all of their good works tainted. They were ordinary people, intelligent, and simply wanted a better life than what they were seeing around them.

My heart ached as I kept reading and watching the coverage. I read about where they are today. Some have gone on to do wonderful things. They still suffer but they have found healing and forgiveness. Those are very important if you want to do more than just survive... if you want to live. Most people know where I stand in my own belief and life. I have no compromise in it. I ask a lot of questions and I trust my gut when something feels a little "to good", but I know that i am far from perfect. It is easy for us on the outside to come to conclusion about those caught in the grasp of unhealthy groups but if we can remember that they are ordinary people I think it will help us to hurt for them in such a time as this.

30 years ago over 900 babies, children, mothers, fathers, sisters,and brothers died in a "revolutionary"/murder suicide, NBC lost amazing reporter (Harris) and camera man (Brown), San Fransisco Examiner lost a photographer (Robinson), our country lost a Congressman assassinated in the line of duty Leo Ryan (first one).... We have been losing people for a long time in wars, disease, cancer, abortions, and cults.... let's remember that some do survive/escape and take care of those around us just as much as we like to take care of overseas.

My prayer is that we look inside ourselves and look at our "checks and balances" before we pass conclusions and judgements. That we will care about those around us and in our communities, that we question every once and a while when things are a little "to good", and that those of us who follow Jesus Christ and believe in God ... that we will take care of the least of these and be His hands and feet.

May you all be blessed in the life that you live and know that you are treasured.

(Photo: Jonestown by Liv Irene on flickr...if you have not heard of this Nov.18,1978 story please stop by: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27743208/ and read the whole story plus the video launches there.)

Can you ever find the words????

2008-11-17T23:11:00.000-08:00

In days of past and the days to come I find that the word "LOVE" is over run with words that are empty . I am just as guilty for the over use of the word. "Love" seems to have lost it's luster in so many cases... the degrees of "love" vary too.

I wish that my "user friendly vocabulary" was broader than what it is currently. There are so many other words in the world that are better at describing what we see, feel, smell, and think than what we tend to rely on. Even now while writing here, I need to bounce words off of a friend..... my mind simply goes blank with options unless I hear it. I don't mean to be lazy in my speech it's just I don't hear, see, or quite frankly think of the other words. I have noticed I don't read much variety either.

So... what do we do? I am learning to use my thesaurus more and yet cringe at the possible "fake" intellect it may portray. How, in a society where "That's Hot" is common place for "That is exquisite" or "You look absolutely, devastatingly beautiful" , are we to encourage more clarity and variety in our words with out sounding pompous? To clear away the apathy of limited vocabulary use will undoubtedly take effort and quite possibly a verbal revolution.

Do you think our society has simply become "comfortable" or is it sheer laziness .... maybe it's the fear of using something uncommon. Who knows it's just my observation... what other words can describe the white hot passion I feel for my husband.. or the amazing bliss I feel sipping on the sweet warm comfort from my favorite coffee paradise? And how do you put it into conversation with out sounding like a nut? Not the hard shell variety ... not like a mad person or someone that is pompous and talks down to others around them ... I would just like to use more words to better describe what I am thinking. I would enjoy a larger well used verbal dictionary/thesaurus of my own tongues If any one has suggestions

I would love

... no I would RELISH in hearing them.

Thank you for reading the mad libs of this born to the wrong era alien. (though I do love the life I live. :) )

(photo by: MorBCN on flicker ... thank you for such an fantastic photo. If there were only more storefronts like this. :))

"My Momma Always Says"

2008-11-13T08:38:00.000-08:00

Have you ever thought about those things your mom always says??

My mom has her voice permanently recorded in my mind and let me just say it has encouraged, reprimanded, and saved my tukas from some really tricky decisions that could have gone really bad. Add that to the "still quiet voice" of the Lord and ya gotta wonder if He made hers repeat simply because I didn't hear Him the first time around. ;)

I love my mom and I have actually recorded her voice because I realize the truth of it all ...she won't be around forever and I will miss hearing it when she is partying with Jesus. She is young and vibrant but I can't imagine my life without her. One of the things she has said for a large portion of my life is this simple, sweet little ditty...
"Keep a Song in your Heart, a Dance at your Feet, and a Smile on your Face... because You make this world a better place. Remember God made You for this time and this place with purpose and love."

She says it to my sister as well. This is her encouragement to us to not let the chaos of the world or daily tasks bring us down or veer our eyes from the only One who can see the big picture and has it all figured out.... not to mention we are "why?" girls. "Why this time and this place... are you sure you put me in the right time period?" "He created you with purpose and love for this specific time and place giving you exactly what you need."

I've recently started sharing that little ditty with others. People I don't know necessarily but God put it on my heart to share. it is a blessing when I have the opportunity to hear or see their reactions because it shows how legacies are made. I wonder if sometimes we forget that we are a Living Legacy.

The honest truth is that most of the time I do wake with a song in my heart... and if you know me you know I have to have a little dance in everything I do... and my smile is my signature. She may not have had a mom that was tender and loving like her ...or really a childhood that we would wish on any innocence... but she has amazing Love and a faith stronger than her own "wild stallion" will. So that little ditty has now become part of the Legacy she lives and it travels to other places to touch other hearts drawing them in to the Arms of Love that are always open for all of those He has created.

What are some of the things that your momma, daddy, grandma, gramps have said to you that encourage and bring you hope in the darker days?

She has always told us we were made for her... to save her... but I have to say... She was made specifically for us (me and my blessed sister) and brought us to the one who Saves. :)
me and my 1st best friend. :)

Hear Ye Here Ye! I call all friends to Go on a Visit

2008-11-13T01:45:00.001-08:00

I have written another Guest post on Zany Life + Crazy Faith . Go an check it out! Plus there are tons of fantastic collaborations for this fun journey through the National holidays of November. ;) Please hangout, read, collect your treasures and Leave a Comment. :) I'll have more coming in a day or so... things are a little crazy right now. :) Thank you all for your comment love and such amazing encouragement. :)

A moment on Faith....

2008-11-10T12:21:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking considerably about "faith" today.

I'm in constant wonder about how to explain what I cannot see but know to the core of me to be true. The only word we have is "faith" to describe it yet that word alone is thrown around so often that I'm not certain we really have a complete understanding of the vitality and depth of this word. ( Faith: belief without proof....other words delegated to faith are: loyalty, fidelity, trust)

People ask me how do I get through different paths of my journey or how my mom survived her childhood and became the vivacious woman with such love she is today and I often say it was the our faith... knowing that there is a God greater than our circumstances and who sees the bigger picture. The fact that we believe without seeing and have no doubt that He is there. Though our "natural" tools to solve such matter fail us we know it will all work itself out.

Currently, this chapter of my life has such trials and tribulations but such amazing joy too. There are victories amidst the striking blows and joys in the tears. Such course of drama in any book would lead you to a natural course of ending. However, my chapter has just begun and I know the writer, so I expect the unexpected simply due to my faith.

My faith is much like the wind... faith is often described as such as well... you cannot see it but you see it's affects and you feel it. That is the beauty because over the written pages of my life I have seen the "wind" disperse grand floods of "rain" which is my description of the rejuvenating and restoring grace that has blanketed my life.

As faith is belief without proof , maybe it would be good to also understand proof. Proof leads to evidence and evidence is the result of having something tangible (from my understanding and perspective.) I have proof of my Faith in God as far as there is result of a creation however in circumstances the results show themselves much later. During the process it is walking in blind faith at times and resting in what I know to be true.

I think everyday we all live by faith and we don't really think about it. We have faith that when we go to sleep we will awaken. We have faith that when we sit the chair will hold our weight. We have faith our appendages will work when we send the signal from our brain without a nano second thought. But what happens when they don't .... most lose hope or trust. So the essence of living in all out Faith is still having it when the the house of cards fall.

I never said faith was easy. But I can't imagine living without it. I think without it I may survive but I would never truly live. Every step would be a question rather than a stride with hope there is something underneath my confident step. Confidence... that is the blessing of faith. No more cause to question with fear or insecurity just encouragement to keep moving forward. To be encouraged is "to cause; to be in" courage. Interesting don't you think that such a simple word as faith leads to much bigger things than the depleting degrade of stepping into fear and uncertainty.

Faith... much deeper and stronger everyday I wake. Today... I thought considerably about faith and turns out.. I'm very blessed that I have such encouragement.

May you be blessed today and encouraged. :) Just think how you don't question the littlest of things because of a little bit of faith. :)

(just a note... pictures that I have not given credit to such as this one are taken by me. :) )

Dark Chocolate & Almonds day (a real national holiday for Novemeber 7th)

2008-11-07T01:12:00.001-08:00

A Case for Dark Chocolate-Almonds

All I can say is...
((with hand raised))
Hello. My name is Jeanette, and I am a Chocoholic.

My love affair with chocolate and nuts began at an early age. The first time I snuck a piece of yummy goodness out of my mom's purse and ingested its sweet ecstasy, I knew I would be hooked for life. Yes...I said I snuck it from my mom.

I come from a long line of Chocoholics. Secretly we hide, our overwhelming fixation on this semi-sweet goodness, in the "seedy" spaces of overnighters and romantic movie nights. While lurking around in cushy-cozy slippers, comfy sweats, and oversize sweatshirts, we wrap up our hair in frumpy (but bomb dig, sassy sexy) pony tails, illuminating the night with candlelight and hide in massive chairs and plum blankets while we generously ingest crunchy nuts and warm smooth delicious intoxication covering red ripe strawberries. In some cases, we are caught enabling others in their intense obsession, accompanied by liquid forms of both almonds and chocolate (I shall leave the rest to your own suitable imagination).

My own enslavement has embraced me, in the heightened sensitivity and euphoria of the nutritive affects, during the relaxing comfort of aromatic bubble baths. While I understand that I am bent on such a luxury in simple forms, I do not find a need to rid my self of such treasured joys.

Hello...my name is Jeanette, and I am Chocoholic especially accompanied by Almonds!

Thank you for listening to my irrational musings of such seductive sweetness! :)

Here are some fantastic facts that should push this partnership to the top of the food chain.

Almonds:
provide essential fats and proteins
used as alternative medicine
aromatherapy
practically no carbohydrates...great for flour
safe for diabetics
gluten free
1 cup of almond flour contains only 20 grams of carbs. and 10 of those grams is dietary fiber
helps with movement of food through the colon
helps complexion
helps fight cancer
reduces bad cholesterol
nutritive for the brain and nervous system said to induce high intellectual levels and longevity
anti-inflammatory, immunity boosting, and anti-hepatotoxicity effects
almond oil extracted via cold press is considered an aphrodisiac when used in massage oils and also internally consumed

Dark Chocolate:
provide Antioxidants reducing formation of free radicals
links to serotonin levels in the brain
theobromine...a stimulant
amino acids
caffeine
circulatory benefits...can lower bloodpressure when eaten in moderation
alkaloids...psychological effects in humans...toxic for cats and dogs
aphrodisiac...resulting in heightened sensitivity and euphoria

(photo provided by daveleb on flickr...thank you! I posted this on zany life + crazy faith as well. Go take a look at some other fantastically ridiculous actual national holidays and thoughts from others. :) )

Step upon the open road

2008-11-06T11:20:00.000-08:00

I stand before an open road

taking a moment, looking back

upon the choice and different paths

fading into black.

Down that road I cannot go

there is no real point.

You cannot change your yesterdays.

You learn, take note and employ

healthier understanding and purposeful steps

to draw you closer to the place

of understanding the regrets.

All the paths,

good and bad,

can teach us much

about where we've come from

where we're heading

and who we are to become.

For in those trials,

joys,

and affliction

we draw deeper to the one who guides the way

showing us the richness of who we are

using all the roads to bring us to the gratification of today.

The gratefulness

that nothing is left without purpose.

Forgiveness and healing has been made.

Now we get up, move forward

on the new untraveled roads of today.

No longer searching

for the easiest way

packing up the lessons

of yesterday.

I place them in my nap sack

and step toward the unknown.

I step upon the open road.

--jeanette mayhew

musings of another such traveler....

ROAD LESS TRAVELED
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh,I kept the first for another day!
Yet,knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference
--Robert Frost

Tonight I prayed for our President....

2008-11-04T21:19:00.000-08:00

...as tonight is a national historic event. We are in a place of opportunity to trust in the Lord and what He has known would be taking place before we did. This is not the man I voted for but he is my president. I will choose to respect and honor the men and their families that God has put into power for the United States of America and pray for them fervently. (Romans 13) There are definitely beautiful things in the moment... our 1st African-American President partnered with a man of European descent. That voice of the people actually rising in roaring waves. The moment is breath taking. What also takes my breath away is understanding what is to come. The ideals spoken of today may not be met in this life however I know the most beautiful and truest of ideals will be met in the Eternal life. I am not going to fret because the Almighty ... Lord of Lords is in complete control and his purpose and plan is all that matters. Now is time to act with purpose and truly be the hands and feet of Jesus Christ... not big mouths screaming regret at the top of our lungs. For the people of this world are listening and watching intently. This is our time to show the Light to the world with out blinding them or burning. He may not have been my choice but God has allowed him to be my President and I will honor what God is doing. Let us unite in Love ... they will know that we are Christians by our Love. If we choose to step out as Christ did listening to the hearts of the people we will learn their needs and heart desires. I would have to say by tonight's events .... They want true Change and they are weary. They are hungry and need to be fed. They are tired of the Status Quo. So it is time for us to show what it means to truly be Christ followers. Please read your scripture carefully. It wasn't picketing and protest it was acts of love and listening. We need to build an A.R.K. ( act of random kindness). So, now that I have stated my case I pray that you too will pray for our president and those going into power and the people of this world.

"Dear Precious El Roi ( God who sees),

I know that you see the new chapter in which our country is writing. I am blessed that we have such a mix of culture in our White House office. I thank you that I live in a country where we still have at this moment freedom and opportunity. May we use it to trust in You and act according to your will, reaching the world with truth in love for You. I pray for President Barak Obama and Vice President Joe Biden and their families. I pray that where your Holy Spirit resides that wisdom, truth and prayer seeking Your Will will rise. I pray that they will seek to hear Your Voice and Wisdom in decisions they make... not the bottom line. I pray your protection over the families especially the children that will be growing up in the White House. I pray for the people of our country to see the blessings we have garnered are from your providential hand as we Honor you. May we as your followers truly be like you and draw people to you as we listen, instead of pushing them farther away by our mouths. Father, I trust in you and know that your good and perfect will is taking place even when we don't always understand. I love you and thank you for hearing my heart. In the precious name of my savior Christ Jesus I ask these things. Amen."

Tonight I prayed for our president.

I've Decided to be a Canary...

2008-11-04T09:29:00.000-08:00

I sat with my sweet Adonai today and did my devotions which have not kept in habit(except in times of struggle or suffering... because it is then that I see that I am famished) and He is taking the time peeling away the layers I don't need.

That is what this time is about. Learning to trust Him more than I do anyone else and embracing the gracious love He has for me. It is a growing and learning time with the breaking of unhealthy tendencies and repaving of ruts in the road of my mind (Romans 12:2 > "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and prove what God's will is-- his good, pleasing and perfect will.") For that I am grateful and truly blessed. I have found true comfort, peace (that surpasses all understanding), and hope. I have joy.

The devotion today was out of Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman a collection of daily devotional readings. It resonated with my soul and there are a few quotes I found very enlightening... intriguing pictures as well.

"...an excitable horse that will not calmly submit to its bridle only strangles itself. And a high-spirited animal that is restless in it's yoke only bruises its own shoulders."

"No calamity will ever bring only evil to us, if we will immediately take it in fervent prayer to God."

(my own emphasis in the italics)

"...it is through our trials and afflictions that God gives us fresh revelations of Himself."

(all quotes and devotion written by Nathaniel William Taylor)

There was also a sweet reference in regards to an analogy that Laurence Sterne ( a minister and author of the 18th century). He penned in regards to the difference between a restless starling and a submissive canary. The starling broke it's wing flying in to the cage bars continually crying "I can't get out! I can't get out!I can't get out!" The canary sat on its perch and sang songs that surpassed the beauty of those of a lark that soared freely to the very gates of heaven.

I have decided I would really like to be a canary. :)

(pictures in this post are: journal pic by JohnAlthouseCohen and canary picture by Floridapfe on flickr. Thank you for sharing your talent with us. :) )

Sitting in my Abba's Chair

2008-11-04T08:15:00.000-08:00

I sat at the Lord's feet today
Enjoying my daily bread
And as I feasted generously
This is what He said:

"My Child, My beloved, your care is mine
There is no fear,anxiety or no need to hide.

I've treasured our moments,
this time with you and I.
Please do not forget,
You need this quiet time.

You lose yourself in the people
yet your heart I know is mine.
So while we sit
nourishing a bit
I'ld like you to hear the heart of Mine.
Tuck into your sweet memory
the freedom and rest you have now.
You are not ment to carry
such heavy burdens alone
and "fix the world".
That is my job dear one.
My plans intwined, detailed, and not clearly understood.

So as you are nurished
being rebuilt in your heart and soul,
Remember what these moments are like
so you do not go out Alone.

This is my plan for you everyday
To sit with me and sup'.
Then WE will strike out together
Reaching the world in Love.

Your Security, Strength and Value
will not lose it's way.
For the One who has sanctified you
Will remind you each moment of your day.

So remember, My dear, how this feels
How truly effortless it is
To sit right here in your Creator's lap
Recieving all I have to give.
I love you."

So in the moments
when life becomes
simply to much to bare
Ask yourself
"Have I eaten to day?
Have I rested in my Abba's chair?"

He is there with you in each new step,
for Him they are old.
For He is now and will forever be
The beginning and end, the one who Created your Soul.

You are Loved.--- 11/04/08 jeanette mayhew

**************************************************
This poem came bubbling out of my heart as a bubbling brook created as the clean winter melts from the mountain tops.

(picture "Chair under tree" by emile on flickr)

Change is in the air...

2008-11-03T23:50:00.000-08:00

autumn leaves fall to the ground and the air varies from crisp to drenching down pours. I have decided to do some changes here as well. I hope that you like the new layout and find the distribution cleaner. For those who are visiting for the first time Hello! I hope that you take time to visit some of my other treasures. :)

("Autumn Ride" is such a beautiful picture by Ming Chai from flickr)

Let Me Lead

2008-10-31T08:27:00.000-07:00

There are things I wonder
but do not show
like how to be me
but do not overflow
people with to much
for that is always said
"you are just to much"
"you try too hard my friend"

It is such a balance
each step you take
to be kind to others
and yet be true to the wake
of emotions that rise
and boundaries that cross
how do i "do this life"
without creating a cost?

A cost to my heart
as it breaks into pieces
a cost to my true self
as it gets lost in the seasons

So much to learn
but all i have is time
so I'll just sit at His feet
and allow Him to sort my life.

It's an interesting thing
to simply stop and rest
to not try so hard
and just learn from the best

He created this being
so all i need to do is be
He makes no mistakes
as He created you and me

There are choices we make
lessons we learn
sometimes we run to fast
we leave the Coach at the turn
heading the wrong direction
we run deeper in the dark
not knowing where we are heading
without His light to illuminate as we embark
on new territories and some times old
it is in those spaces
there are wounds we've left alone

So in these travels
I will learn to walk slow
trusting His grace and mercy
to unfold
to light the darkness
lead me on my way
I have know idea how to deal
with much more than today.

There will be times
He will call me to sit
to rest a while
simply listen
no need to ask "why?" like a child of three
just sit and listen
for there is much to glean

Then He'll take my hand
in the gentlest way
and say
"It's okay, I've got you. Let Me Lead"
And you'll begin again
in this dance we call life
but not alone in the darkness
no...
with the Lover of your Soul and Life.

(pictures shown here are from flickr. 1st picture is by FLUK ... 2nd picture is by queen'slace. Thank you to both for sharing your art with us.)

Who am I ?

2008-10-20T09:04:00.000-07:00

"difficult to describe... to hard to contain... I'm just me and that's all I can be. :)"

These are the only words you will find on my profile. Today I was thinking... yes I do that a lot ;)... but I was thinking about how we describe ourselves and what we mean to those around us. More importantly what we mean to the one who gave his life for us... the one who knitted us together in our mother's womb. Then I thought... what we mean to our own selves. Now I don't want to lead you down the wrong path so wait for me a minute....

I stated that I am "difficult to describe... hard to contain... I'm just me and that's all I can be." Well.. recently I learned that I have made a false statement about myself. I wasn't really being honest about me... however when i look at me I do not see what others see and I must remind my self of the truths of who I am. This is not because I am put down a lot... because I'm not... not by those around me. This is not because I was raised like that .... because I wasn't... as a point of fact, I was encouraged, loved unconditionally, and praised by my mom. But my mirror of myself is distorted. It begins in the battle of the mind and then permeates to the battle of the heart. The battle for the core of who you are. It is the century old battle for our soul.

Now ... we are far from perfect other wise we would not be here right now learning, growing, changing. But there are some core truths that I know we have in Jesus. Before I get into that though...

Recently I sent out one of those forward texts. I sent it to several of my friends with no expectation for a response. Within seconds i was receiving messages back. I laughed as I thought, "I was totally joking". The text asked for the receiver to describe the sender in one word and then forward on to at least 10 of your friends. I added " have fun with it. You never know ... you may be surprised." I was.

I probably shouldn't have been. Like I said, these are my friends. I would have to say that 90% if not more are absolutely real with me. They don't pull any punches and I never want them to because that is the relationship we have. We say the things that are hard to say and love without condition. It's real and raw. I am always blessed and thankful for what I've been provided in my friends. I pray that I provide the same for them.

Back to the Text... I'm going to share with you what I read...

Optimistic!!!!
loving
Lovable
a Role model!
Vivacious (sent 2 times same person. She wanted to be sure I knew :) )
Outgoing
Beautiful
lovable. so very easy and fun lovable
Sunshine... you know how i love sunshine

... all in all having my friends describe me is much easier than me, however it was still a surprise to read what they saw. It's not that I don't see the positive things... it's just that I see all the areas I have to grow. Knowing that pride is a problem it is easier to error on the side of where I need growth rather the areas I excel in. If I asked those same friends as well as others they (which I have in conversation) if I was "hard to contain" they would ask "in what way? Who wants to contain: love and kindness and joy?" On the other hand, there are a scant few that would say that I am difficult to live with and at times a challenge to love. So I keep those in my peripheral view. I don't want to lose sight that I can be a lot to handle. Then I read that this is the struggle of every woman's heart "I am not enough and I am to much"(Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge) So, I'm not alone. Nor, am I crazy when i feel like that.

Now back to the absolute truths I know, in my head and must remind my heart sometimes, that are the foundation of my soul in Jesus...

I am saved
I am secure
I am protected
I am fought for
I am sanctified
I am loved
I am forgiven
I am renewed
I am restored
I am pursued
I am longed for
I am treasured
I am of value and worth
I am complete.

Those are just a few. I believe that the name you are give speaks over your life for the purpose God has for you. My name means God is gracious. My life is a Living Testimony to that. So... in the last part of my statement " ... I'm just me that's all I can be" .... I am God's Grace. That is all I need to be ... His grace is sufficient for me! He has made me complete and I am thankful I have the opportunity to show up every day and say .. "Here I am Lord." without fear, sometimes with shame for my choices made, but always loved and forgiven and COMPLETE!

So.. to anyone who reads this or shares this please know that you are loved, pursued and treasured of great worth! My love and prayers for you and your journey.

Created under His Amazing Grace--

jeanette marie mayhew... encouraged by the journey He is taking me on through the broken

picture is by asmundur http://www.flickr.com/photos/asmundur the photo is called "God's House By Noon" (he is one of my favorite flickr photographers :) )

fearfully and wonderfully made....

2008-10-10T15:35:00.000-07:00

I was moved by my sister's journey today "Country Music Anyone?" and in the journey she is taking. I would like to share the bits I shared with her. Please take the time to visit her site. :) It is one of the places I venture to and she is just beginning in the blogging community. :)

3:34 PM, Friday, October 10, 2008 .. Posted on my sweet sister's blog ...
(Mommy of two little blessings)

I could hear your voice singing with a little wiggle in your walk. ;) I have come to appreciate the newer country music, by the way. :)

I'm proud of you for seeing the lessons in your cookies. :) (by the way butter is always better than margerine or lard. :D ) The beautiful part of the journey with Jesus is that He is the perfect one. Yes, some choose to learn the hard way, some choose to venture into the unknown on their own... then there are those who stay home and do the work they are asked to do striving for the best of what they can offer..and if are not careful can have pride become bigger than the love of sacrifice and service, making them frustrated and blind to things at
times.

The thing is ... we are all saved by grace.." not by works of righteousness which we have done but according to his mercy he has Saved us.." In the years that I have been journeying.. both in times of stiving for perfection and times of the prodical... I have been moved by the "saved us" part. If we could do everything right the first time and even get close to perfect on this earth then why would we need to be "save"d?

This was pointed out to me a couple of years ago by a wonderful man of Godly character. He sat me down one morning (while serving in Mississippi) and said... come hear I want to show you something. We were both up early in the morning dawn for quiet time and he was finishing his quiet time. He showed me the scriptures you shared ( prodical son, lost sheep) and the proverbs about the boastful ... by this point knowing my failures and shortcomings I began to have a heavy heart as if I was about to be repremanded. Then he turns to Psalms 139 which I have read thousands of times and read it aloud. The fatherly tone in his voice pointed out sections I had not read that way before. Then he said... that it is good to strive to honor the Lord and give him your best but really if you hadn't been created with the limitations do you really think that we would need him? He went on to say..."He knows where you've been, he knows where your going, he knows your inner most parts... and he chose to make you anyway because He delights in you and says you are 'very good'." Wow... (also connected with 2Cor.12:7-10... he will keep us humble )

I am reminded of that moment, everytime I start to beat myself up and let the enemy win more ground than he deserves. There is another scripture that I hold on to as we grow along the path with the sweet Lord... Galatians6:9 and 2 Corinthians 4:16-18... reminding me where to keep my focus and not give up. :)

I adore you and love that you are sharing your journey. It is a blessing and a privelage to see the adventure of growth in your own life. :) I treasure you dear sister of mine and love you deeply! Many days and moments of blessing for you and your family! ;) xoxoxo

Ready to Move

2008-09-30T23:53:00.001-07:00

Standing

Watching

Waiting

Pondering

Uncertain

At Peace

Heart pacing

Like a new father in a waiting room

Mind rushing

Like the anchor of a 300 sprint relay

Still I wait

"Peace that surpasses all understanding" *

As I wait on Him

Positioned for action

Anticipating to move

Still I wait

Knowing I would take off

Like a Cheetah on the hunt

Focused

Determined

Striving my utmost

He whispers "wait"

To run too far ahead

Lost, I will be

For the Light would be behind me

So I wait

Then...

amidst the gentle, quiet thunder

"Move"

(*Phillipians 4:7a NIV Study Bible)

Beauty in Pain

2008-09-29T17:21:00.000-07:00

there is beauty in times of pain

when we step back and see what is gained.

never forgetting the lessons learned

a heart that has been hurt yet still has passion to yearn.

taking a moment to assess the risk

leaves you still waiting on that perfect bliss

there is never a good time to take the leap

the fact that there is yearning means the pain may cut deep.

one must not fret, for you are not alone.

there is a healing touch that will ease the scars you own.

they will not fade as if to not exist

they are meant to remind you how to truly feel a simple sweet kiss

for without pain how do we know joy

and without that knowledge... life would be a ploy

offering nothing more than the mundane

with no adventure and nothing to gain.

so do not fret if a tear you shed
seek out the hidden treasures instead

they are there and not always easy to see

once you've learned to look, it will be more than it seemed

back in the day when all you saw was darkness

making such discovery will bring out the brightness.

it is never easy to take that step

allowing your heart out there once and again

yet watch as a child gets hurt in a day

a few minutes later they invite to play.

so simple and sweet a gesture...bringing adults to their knees

remembering what it was to have such innocent peace

they don't have to remind themselves "tomorrow's a new day"

they simply let it all fall away

let's make an effort to have that child like care

and use the wisdom of age to leave selfishness there

in the wake of yest er year.

Regarding Comments and Pictures

2008-09-25T16:44:00.000-07:00

I thought it would be good to have a short moment to explain ...

by me :)

Pictures:

I will always do my best to give credit where credit is due. I do not lable my pictures that I have taken personally. Most of the pictures on my blog are ones that I have taken (most with my phone. :) ). For those that are not mine I try to find the author of it. If I have not given credit on a picture it is usually because I have no idea where it came from and will post a little disclaimer. I don't want it to be confused with stealing.

Comments:

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for taking the precious time to comment on my writing. I am not sure how I should respond except to go to the persons site and then leave a comment there. I'm not really clear on proper blogger etiquet. So please let me know if there are unspoken rules that I have yet to learn. I am still figuring all of this out since I do not do this every day. (Although lately it has been more often.)

So, with all that said I am saying thank you again.... THANK YOU!!!! to all of those that share their perspective through word and photo. :) Thank you! Have a day full of blessings you found! :)

Moments by a Large Window

2008-09-25T15:44:00.000-07:00

I sit at a window everyday.

I work and watch the passerby saunter.

Cars zoom past and every once and a while 2-3 police cars fly by with sirens about to start.

It's not incredibly fascinating or even beautiful ( across the street is a community parking lot that has been patched often and the back of buildings that show their faces to our quaint down town.), yet I watch.

This window reminds me how moment pass by. Always moving, these moments never take time to stop like the blue jay who perches out side my window waiting for some treats. How many moments do we not grab because they seem mundane and insignificant?

That question is something that I have been asking myself lately. Also, how many moments do I let pass me because I am to afraid to take hold? I must admit it was triggered by a book I'm reading Chasing Daylight by McManus. Think about those questions and others often even before the reading of this book (which I just started I might add).

Missed opportunities, the "little" moments that can be easily overlooked, sweet gifts of daily living.... all of them coursing through my thoughts and getting to the core of my own character. Do I capture every moment like a snap shot missing the pieces all around in the "stop frame"? ... or ... Do I run with it and make every effort count because moments are moving through time? I'm not looking for any answers. I simply thought I would throw the questions out into this void we lovingly call the blogging community. Maybe we all ask those same questions.

**photo by asmundur from Flickr (http://flickr.com/photos/asmundur/)

When two combine with music and rhyme

2008-09-20T19:12:00.001-07:00

Rise & Shine

Where have the days gone

When people pass you by

They'd look into your eyes

And they'd actually say "hi"

Where have the days gone

When people would be kind

Without reason or a why

They just woke to rise and shine

<<Chorus>>

The people make me cry

Because they've lost their light

So it's our job to show why

Our reason to rise and shine

There's only one

yeah.. There's only one

hey hey hey ... There's only one

One reason to rise and shine

So you share a simple smile

As you pass them by

Take another moment and

Look into their eyes

Ask them how they're doin'

And show you want to know

'Cause you're showin' them our Lord

And how he loves them so-o-o

<<Chorus>>

<<Bridge>>

No He didn't simply die

On Calvary that night

He's risen alive on High

To bring us our new life.

There's only one

yeah... there's only one

hey hey hey there's only one

He's our reason to rise and shine

**Music: Acoustic Guitar Aaron Mayhew

**Lyrics: Jeanette Mayhew ((December 2006))

Isn't it a wonder.

2008-09-17T08:59:00.000-07:00

This morning I was in the office doing what I do every morning... checking my morning messages. Every morning I receive a "FamilyLife" devotional. Pandora.com is playing a mix of praise musicin the background. I begin to read.

September 17
One Home at a Time
"A smoldering wick He will not put out, until He leads justice to victory. "
Matthew 12:20

The story goes on to talk about this general ... the screaming eagles of 1944 WWII ... and though the efforts of the squad weren't seen on mass scale (it was a tactical disaster) yet lives were save and touched. Then it goes into marriage and family.

General Dees's story reminded me that each home is important in the battle for the family. Your small courageous choices--to stand for truth, to remain committed to one another and to raise a family that honors Jesus Christ--will yield a victory of some kind. Don't give up. Just like that little Dutch girl and her dad, the next generation is at stake.

Discuss:Even if your efforts to strengthen your marriage and family haven't visibly made a difference lately, what little victories is God enabling you to win?

This was a beautiful reminder. As many of you know Aaron and I have been together for 13 years. We've been married for 10. The road has not been easy but I believe it has been beautiful. Beautiful?? Yes. God's grace paints a beauty over suffering and heartache replacing it with hope and joyful memories. Moments of laughter and simple touches are amplified... standing firm like a mountain range.... always point up to the sweet Provider. It's a hope that enriches and strengthens us. I do not give up nor do I see divorce as an option. There's no "opt. out" clause in our covenant.

I often wonder ... who in our generation understands that through the struggles we grow stronger in our marriage if we put our selfishness and bitterness aside?

The other day I was shopping with my friend Judi (jlomowriter of zany life + crazy faith ...here in blogger world ) and she made a statement... the generations today don't know what a covenant is. Marriage is seen as a "contract" not a "covenant". They do mean pretty much the same thing however.... when you enter into a covenantal vow with someone you are willing to sacrifice** yourself for you are creating a "treaty, a pact" {dictionary.com}.

**(that means you are not laying out your expectations of them you are telling them what they can expect from you... and nobody does it perfectly. It takes two to enter in ...only one hard heart to exit.)

When things aren't working I look at myself first because pointing fingers only gets my fingers bent. When it comes to him... well, honestly... I pray. God created him so I ask him for the wisdom and understanding. I also seek council from his parents becuase his dad and him have similar traits. His mom gives me a different perspective.

Anyone who knows me knows that my love for my husband is white hot passion. They also know I believe it is a matter of choice to be in that kind of love. My marriage has taught me selflessness, compassion to another degree, sacrifice... with it we have received blessings, submission ... no it's not a bad word... it's the willingness to concede so that God can handle the rest, dependence on the Lord and resting in him.... most of all how to live my life full on... out front and real in the light of saving grace. I have more victories than I can count usually and for that I am so very greatful.

"Take this life and make it yours. Here I am Lord what are we upto today." That is my constant prayer.

I encourage each of you to see what quiet victories are being won today. Thank you for taking the time to read my journey. :)

Change... Rambling rants of a "mad" young woman

2008-09-16T09:41:00.000-07:00

Fall is finally coming...

I say finally like it has been such a long summer but it really hasn't here in the Pacific Northwest. I simply am stating that I love the change. Funny how that aspect alone has grown as I have. I used to not like change at all. Now I look forward to it. I should probably add that I enjoy the timely changes... not chaos changes that are brought on by a restless spirit. I do have a sense of a some restlessness right now though. My heart is not at peace and I have not been able to put my finger on it.

Let's see... do I have a home to live in? Check..do I have food to eat?Check..am I in good health?Check..do I have all limbs working in the way they were intended?Check..am I in love with my husband?Madly..do i have a job?Check..is my husband sober still?Check..do i have good family?Absolutely..Fantastic friends?Most deffinately.... THEN WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME?? I feel a bit out of sorts... disconcerted, if you will. I have nothing to complain about or any reason to be sad and yet I feel that I am, at this moment being a whiney spoiled brat. Lord forgive me and my ungreatful ramblings. You, Lord, know my innermost being so you know that this is not a long standing place of my heart or mind however something has it in a ruckus and I have no idea what. For that, and that alone, I seek your wisdom and peace, since at this moment I feel I have none.

"I feel" ... that could be it right there. Feelings are fleeting and have no substantial foundation except for what you give them. so.... I shall choose to "feel" joyful and at peace because the Lord has been more than gracious to me and has provided my every need. (see >>feeling: joyful & at peace... foundation: God's grace and providence). In this very moment a smile is slowly creeping along the very lips that God created and warmth is filling my being because I know those things are SO TRUE!

Paul reminds me that "his grace is sufficient" and it is. More than sufficient it over whelms me. His mercy... more than I can humanly comprehend. Grace and mercy... given so freely that I cannot even think to be in dismay because I know that his promises are true and he never changes.Change... funny weren't we just talking about that. I like change only because I know that the Alpha and Omega Never Changes. He is my solid rock foundation in the sea of constant, and at times, "untimely" Change.

So... maybe this is what I needed... to simply sort it out and take a moment to sit on my Solid Rock so that he can remind me he is steadfast and his promises never change... he doesn't say "oops... well that didn't work out quiet the way I expected. Let's try something else." The change occurs with us. So, Lord, let the CHANGE begin in me.

Spring... time to make a splash!

2008-07-24T16:18:00.000-07:00

This last Tuesday I had the blissful opportunity to speak in front of a group of amazing women at Oasis.

Oasis is a themed summer event that is held for 4-5 weeks on Tuesday night at my church (Rolling Hills Community Church). It provides an opportunity for our church to open our arms to women from all ages and stages of life ... some may have never had the opportunity to feel the warmth of the Lord through his followers for one reason or another. Some may have known him once before but have taken the road traveled by many ... hurt by the very people that should be showing the Grace and Mercy of the Lord... the wide road of the world. It is also a refuge for the "busy woman" needing a night with the Ladies. The evening provides dinner+ dessert.. entertainment accompanied by speaker then off to class that they have chosen at sign-up. The classes vary on the season and what is available.

So that is a little over view of what this event consists of. Our theme this year was "Get the Big Picture" using seasons as the foundation. With the seasons during the year and during our lives there is a Panoramic Perspective to be found. We began with Fall... the next week was Winter... and the third week (my week) was Spring. Now that you have the Preface ... here is what I said... (with some variations that are recorded on CD but not written down.)....

__________________________________________________
Hello Ladies...

Well last week ... I must admit ... I was not prepared to speak in front of you. I had full on writer's block. So I gathered with some fantastic ladies, that are here tonight, to work on our sketch and they were laughing at me and encouraging me with what Becky talked with us all about on the very first week.

"Jeanette, It's not about you.... it's all about HIM."
"great.. thanks" (I replied in humble embarrassment )

Really though... it's not about me it is all about Him. In God's completeness he fills in all of my missing pieces and picks up all of the parts.

Then I listen to Jenny speak last week. Her story and heart hit home for me. Not because I have lost a loved one or am a cancer survivor. It was how she reminded us to Holler for Help, Humble ourselves, and Hold on to God through the hard winters of life.

As I have been listening and learning, I believe the women around me are right... we go through all of the seasons in our life more than once... just differently. Each one has the purpose of God drawing us nearer to Him and growing us into the beautiful full gift we are designed to be. The season I'm in right now is Spring. Before I get into that I'm going to tell you a little story.
*****
"Once upon a time "...isn't that how every little girl's story begins?? Anyway..

"Once upon time there lived a bubbly little girl who lived her life full and loud. She was blessed with a mommy who knew how to have fun not matter the circumstances.

She jumped into the leaves of fall
Marveled at the rich array of color and changes all around
While enjoying the sweet aroma of newly sharpened pencils.

Sometimes winter would come with a start
Crisp air and harsh conditions
Everything looking like it was dead and alone with no hope for tomorrow...
Then ... the first snowfall.
That meant pillow fights in the middle of the night with her little sister ... accompanied by Mommy's famous homemade hot coco
Then bundling up for snowball fights and building snowwomen... yep .. that’s right Snowwomen...imagine that.

She would slip her galoshes on, when spring would finally come, and open her umbrella ...to take "splash" walks with her mommy and sister; with out a care in the world for how wet they might get.
She would giggle as her mommy pointed out the little boy birds chasing and singing to the little girl birds.
She listened carefully with awe as her mommy explained to her how even though something looks dead in the winter didn't mean there wasn’t color and life surging within simply waiting for Spring to explode."
*****

Well... that little girl was ... and in my mom's eyes...is ... Me.

Somewhere along the way I had forgotten how fantastic Spring can be.... until this year.

A couple of years ago I found my true colors when I finally humbled myself and said "Okay Lord, here I am. I have know idea what you are up to or doing but I'm showing up. What are we doing today?" and he sweetened my sap. ( The sweeter the sap the bolder and brighter the color of a trees fall leaves.)

Before that ... and after that .. though I was journeying through the double edge of winter and I had not prepared for it.... not this type of winter anyway.

See the marriage to my best-friend, high-school sweetheart, and partner in crime ... he's Calvin and I'm Hobbes... felt and looked like it was dying.

The early course of winter, he had began his journey on the path of destruction into 12 years of alcoholism and addiction that soon led to other poor choices. I, too, began along the path of destruction with poor choices...that included addiction, alcoholism and adultery... that tore apart my character, integrity, relationships, reputation, and nearly my marriage. Each of us had begun to look like those withering dead trees of winter....
That's when I Hollered... no I WAILED for God
I Humbled myself completely
and I Held On for dear life!

SO... the second winter was brighter for my but just as hard. It wasn’t easier just brighter because my focus was up here (pointing to God). I saw the storm raging all around me and realized that I couldn't do anything but focus right there. I would step out of the boat even and as long as I kept my eyes up then I was able to walk and not drown in the deep. I would slip and drown sometimes just like everyone else and then I would remember "okay wait ... focus... alright there you go" and God would send a helping hand. through a friend , or a song, some reminder that he was there. He became my refuge. He surrounded me with amazing women from all ages and stages of life. They held me accountable, offered advice and encouragement, an ear or sometimes just a shoulder to cry on.I fell madly in love with my Jesus... I dove into Him. I placed God's promises all over... on my mirror... because I tend to spend a lot of time there... and on my computer at work with little post-its. A couple of them still ride with me today. One of them was 2 Corinthians 4:16 ... I'm going to open up the scripture because I really want to give you exactly what God has here....

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NIV (New International Version)

16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

So we fix our eyes on Him. All of this stuff it will pass but He is eternal. And the "day by day" ... wow... that really stood out to me because that meant it wasn't going to happen all at once or right now. It means moment by moment, piece by piece... he is renewing and rebuilding... "day by day". That give me a lot of hope.

The other one was 2 Galatians 6:9

Galatians 6:9 (New International Version)
9Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

So if I just hold on it will all work it's self out. I can rest in Him.

Well Ladies.... I'm here to tell you ... Believe God's promises. He never changes them nor does he move from them. We do.

This last December my husband went to rehab for 23 days and I joined him for the last 3. God is good all the time and All the time my God is Good. I find my self singing that praise regardless the circumstance.

He Renewed... bringing new life to both of us
He Restored... what appeared to be demolished and without any hope of rebuilding
And His amazing Grace.... It is COMPLETE Redemption.

We'd been home for a month and I came across Galatians 6:9 again and I cried with the deepest joy and thankfulness.

The Lord reminded me... "Jeanette, there is New Life all around you.... you just need to be patient for winter to pass."

Everyone's seasons are a little different. They don't look the same, they are a little different in types and we don't always go through them at the same time... that's why we feel so alone in it but we can all share in the Hope that rises from the cold hard surface. I now read Psalms 23 in a whole new way. You read through out it how He is there all the time ... alongside us, leading the way, preparing things and then there is the part about the valley and how I have to GO THROUGH IT before I can LEARN how to fear no evil.

Longsuffering does not fall upon deaf ears nor does it go unnoticed or without purpose. See... those ladies I told you about that God used to help me... well I recently learned he was using me to help them. People are watching and each time we learn how to handle it a little differently and better I hope.

It helps us to truly treasure...
To treasure the Vibrancy of the Tulips... which is His reminder of HOPE... they are the first to burst with their bold colors after the winter.
To enjoy the sweet song of New Life
And to embrace the puddles of life.

God has taught me how to put my galoshes on again and live life with a SPLASH! I hope that you will too!
Have a good night and thank you.
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Well that is what God gave me to share and I pray that if you are reading this you are blessed and will live your life with a splash too. Thank you for reading and I am blessed that you did.

7/24/08

Picture from Flickr: Rain Rain Sketch by icklebird